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This is going to piss people off but it drives me nuts.

One of the women I work with whines all the time about being a single mom and how it is so hard to not have any help YET she gets a weekend to herself EVERY other week and sometimes longer if school is out. She goes tot he beach with friends, parties and goes to clubs! I want so bad to say to her 'You know what you are a single mom and you get more down time than I do married. ' Now I know not every single mom gets to do this but it just drives me nuts that she is kid free Friday after school through Sunday night every other week and then complains that life as a single mom is hard work and she has no help. I would LOVE to be able to be able to go out and have fun without my kids even once a month!

Am I just an ass or have other people felt this way?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Feb. 17, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • And I understand that even with a husband who gives you the time when you need it its not the same as essentially not having the kid responsibilities on a scheduled basis. Even if/when my husband "lets" me go out it's not like I can always drop what I'm doing on a whim and even then I know better than to stay out as late as I want to because my son will be up early and hungry in the morning.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • You've obviously never been a single mom. You have no idea what it's like to have to do the work of 2 parents 99% of the time (or in my case, 100%, since my ex doesn't see my kids), and watch them go off with him for a weekend, with no idea how they'll be treated, if they'll be fed and cared for properly, if he'll trash talk you. And then, of course, there's dealing with people like you.

    If you want time for yourself, then take it. But don't criticize a single mom who's taking what little time she gets, and focusing on things outside her home so she doesn't have to think about her kids being gone. She's not the reason you're unhappy. You are.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:59 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • how is she getting this time to herself every other week? because the father is taking them, or grandparents or what?

    a married woman can have just as much free time as a single mom whose other parent is involved. you can just as easily leave your kids with your husband and go somewhere.

    it isnt easy for all single moms. i have no help from the father of my kids. they are with me 24/7, i have a non existent social life. but i dont piss and moan about it either, because i have more important responsibilities.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:08 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • Who cares if she's at the beach! Her kids obviously in a safe place, you actually sound jealous to me. It does suck being a single parent but why should she stay cooped up in her home if her kids aren't there.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:24 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I used to be a single mom. My kids went (and still go) to their dad's house every other weekend. So every other weekend I watch them leave and feel my heart being ripped out of my chest. I miss them every minute of every weekend they are gone. The house was empty and awful so I preferred to go and do things so I wouldn't think about it.
    If you are jealous of her free time, work it out with your husband. Being single is lonely!

    Answer by missanc at 9:36 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I understand where you are coming from OP, but as a single mom, I agree with missanc. Also, single mom's need that time away because we do the job of 2 parents the rest of the time. It was hard enough dealing with everything of being a mom when I was married. At least then I had someone to share the load. Now I don't get that. Yeah, every other weekend my kids are with him. Great. I get to worry about if they are eating right, if they are having fun, if they remembered to grab everything they needed from my house, if they are ok, and what color my child's hair is going to be when I see them next.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 9:49 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • ^ right? she jumped right on the defense mode. PMSing much?

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:25 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • Yup Tnm, her bitterness is oozing.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:32 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • Not only do you have to watch them leave every other weekend, you have to undo or retrain them when they get back. At least in my situation, when my boys were younger, & went to Disney Land Dad's where it's a virtual free for all. Usually being the single mom means all the responsibilities of the day-to-day grind are on your shoulders. (heck it's that way now that I'm married) Moms are the ones helping with hw, Dr. appts, taxi-cab service etc. I think ALL the moms, single or otherwise deserve some down time at the beach!


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:52 AM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • sure her beach trips & weekends off sound glamorous. and yes if she's complaining all the time about hard her life is while getting to party away the weekends is annoying. and it really sounds to me like youre just sick of this co-worker's dumb ass.

    but would you really want to be a single parent? i wouldnt. yes, a weekend completely alone or out doing something fun with DH would be wonderful, but it wouldnt be worth being alone with the kids the rest of the time. my kids were recently up all night sick, one kid after the other. if i was a single mom i would have had to stay up 2 nights in a row, id have been a mess. but im lucky to have DH who took off work & took charge that second night. that security is worth missing out on weekends without my kids.

    Answer by okmanders at 10:32 AM on Feb. 17, 2013