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2 Bumps

Confession

I desperately wanted to give DD up for adoption because we had no money when DH lost his job while I was 7 months pregnant. He refused to sign the papers. then when DD was 4 we learned she has special needs. I have wished we had gone through with it ever since. I mean I love her and take care of her and do my best every day for her but I feel like she was meant to be with another parent and not us. Another parent could take care of her better. I feel like we were being led by God in the direction of adoption and we denied her, her perfect family by keeping her.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Can I tell you something? I don't think anybody is "cut out" to parent a little one with special needs. I know I wasn't, but my DD was born with cerebral palsy. & you know what? She's fine, & I'm fine. You just love them to pieces, so you step up to the plate & do what they need you to do. Just remember- she is still the same little girl she was before she was labeled as "disabled".
    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 6:50 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • Well,if you believe in God,He gave you this child for a reason.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • No no no! Mom Confessions is NOT the place to go with something like this. Bashing, ridiculing, name calling happens all the time. You might get 1 or 2 good responses out of 10.
    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 7:48 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • difficulties at four, how old is she now?
    is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
    are you getting any support like therapy or respite?

    maybe you are just burned out?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:48 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • let me throw this out there, while I promote adoption A LOT - I lived it as well and there is no promise your child would have gotten the big PERFECT family.

    you do what you can and seek help if it feels beyond you- get trained to care for her and get respite care when you need it.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:14 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I don't know what to say. It's not often you hear a Mom want to give away her child. I'm not judging, I just don't know what to say. I hope you get some help for her and you?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:10 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I think you know your limits & your capabilities. But instead of thinking you are not the right mom for her, why not get the help you need to be the best mom you can be for her? Is your husband still in the picture? How does he feel? Does he help? Ultimately, the 2 of you need to do what's best. But I would think after 4 years, adoption would be nearly impossible to handle emotionally. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:20 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • do you have other kids?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:37 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I think there is a forum called Mom Confessions, if you really need help, and feel overwhelmed you need to call someone.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 7:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2013

  • I told myself with each of my pregnancies that i would not keep a child with special needs, we are not financially or emotionally stable enough to care for a child who needs extra.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Feb. 17, 2013