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5 Bumps

Just don't know what to say or do

Good friends of mine were expecting their first child in several weeks. Yesterday morning she had a problem and they went to the hospital. They found out the baby had died. She is now waiting to deliver their son, who they then will have to make plans to bury.

I know there aren't any words I can say, but what can I do to try to help them through this rough time in their lives.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Feb. 18, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I don't think anyone would know what to say or do in that situation. Just offer to emotionally be there for them, that's all you can do.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:29 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • They will not be able to think about caring for themselves. Maybe you could organize a group to take a night and each bring a meal over to the house for them to eat.
    There is nothing you can say except I am so sorry.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:31 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • that is the saddest situation

    make a meal, and make calendar of meals so others can sign up

    and maybe do some chores for them, shovel, grocery shop, driving other kids to activities etc


    Answer by fiatpax at 12:41 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I have been there, just be there for your friend, just listen to her, let her cry and be a shoulder to lean on, she is going to need someone to talk to without trying to fix it and just listen to her , you could also send food and flowers (when the funeral arrangements have been made).

    Answer by momto4girzls at 12:44 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I wouldn't say anything to try and fix the situation because nothing you say will fix it. I like the practical ideas of taking over food and doing shopping and other chores. Also, you could take donations in the name of the lost one and give them to a charity that helps other babies.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:11 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I don't want to 'fix' this. There isn't any 'fixing' this. I just want to help them through it. Thank you for the many suggestions. I am keeping this open to see if there are any more.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:37 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • Do NOT NOT NOT say anything like the baby is with the angels,that God wanted him/her back,it was God's plan,or anything along these lines.
    When my baby girl died inside me,like your friend,these words infuriated me and me me feel like shit.
    I'm sorry,I feel bad,I'm here if you need me,or need anything,are the things to say.
    Ask if they need meals,chores done,errands ran,phone calls to be made

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:32 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • Be there for them when they need you.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:14 AM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • After all settles down, and family is gone.

     Then you come in.....Get her out of the house.

     Let her chose a movie, and go out to eat.

     If she starts, crying "Just let her cry a minute or two, then offer a "HUG".

     When her support System is gone, is when "She needs her friends".


    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:11 AM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • Be there for her and let her know that she is strong. Also help her get into some counseling and see if that helps. There is nothing really you can do to take the hurt or pain away just be there for her.

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:39 AM on Feb. 19, 2013

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