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2 Bumps

Want another child but can't afford it

I want to have another baby, I have 2 right now. My husband wants another too but we can't afford it. I don't want to financially ruin us but I can't stop thinking about having another and it's constantly on my mind, how can I stop obsessing when I feel something is missing?

Answer Question

Asked by Aubsnjack at 2:57 PM on Feb. 18, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Keep your mind on the kids you already have.

    Answer by anestheticsex at 3:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • You already know that you can't afford it so think of the financial burden it would be putting on your family. Your Significant other would br stressed all the time about not being able to provide for his family, your children could go without, they could all blame you and feel resentful towards you or the baby and it's just not fair to any of you. Just wait until you are financially stable and then think about it after that.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 3:04 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • It's hard, but grown-ups know they can't always get what they want when they want it. Enjoy the kids you have and wait to see if your finances improve.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:06 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • Look at your bottom fiscal line and know that while this might not be the time to have another baby, you will still have time when things get better financially.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • It is not fair to the kids you now have, being financially unable to provide is worse than not having that third child you want......

    Answer by older at 3:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • Look at your finances and see what you can do. Can you or your husband go back to school for a couple years to get a better paying job? Are there areas in your budget that you can cut?
    If not, then just focus on your 2 wonderful kids and know that having a 3rd would make things not so great for them.

    Answer by missanc at 3:27 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I feel the same way. I have one son but I always wanted 3. But we just can not afford it and we have no room. It really bothers me when people keep asking me when were going to have another. I keep telling them that were not but they still ask.

    Answer by Lobelia at 3:31 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • Thanks for the comments, I am down to earth and realize that we shouldn't have another. The problem I'm having is that I think about it at least once a day, it makes me sad and depressed and I have a hard time learning friends are pregnant. I'm thinking of maybe seeing a therapist because I can't make the thoughts and obsessive thoughts, just wondering has anyone else experienced this?

    Comment by Aubsnjack (original poster) at 4:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • i know how you feel. we want a 3rd, but cant afford it. seeing friends announcing pregnancies or having babies is hard. but just focus on the kids you have, hold them tight...its all you can do. its just one of those things we'll have to get over...somehow.

    Answer by okmanders at 4:30 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • As it is, I'm not sure I can provide college tuition for both kids all four years...working on it but we'll see how the investments go.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

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