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Conduct unbecoming in public setting...

I took my kids to a fast food place tonight and witnessed first hand something that my mom complained about the other day. I don't often take my kids out to eat do to financial restraints. I have to budget careful but could afford a cheap meal for them if I didn't get anything to eat so I just got coffee. While we were there my five year old (Who is on the spectrum) kept repeating loudly, Pee Pee and Poo Poo and Poop, and then laughing about it. I calmly told him that that was not nice to say in public and asked him if he had to go potty. He said no, so I told him if he kept saying it, I was going to take him anyway lol. I said if you don't want to go to the potty then you better stop saying that. He is very hyper anyway and his Doctor took him off his medication until after his evaluation in March so he is sometimes hard to calm down. People kept staring at him and I kept telling him nicely to sit down and use his inside voice and please pay attention to your own food.
Other than that what can I do?
I am slightly annoyed because my mom says that if he continues to act that way that she won't take him out anymore and that is her choice not mine and I see no reason that I should not take him out if I have the money. It's not like I took him to an expensive high class restaurant, it was fast food.
I don't see him as having behavior issues because I feel that he can't really help the way he acts. Is it fair to say that I should keep him home all the time? Isn't that the same thing they did in the 50's and 60's when they felt people with delays were a "dirty secret"? Why should he not have the same rights as typical developing children?
What are your thoughts, opinions on this?


Asked by AnonNdrag at 8:28 PM on Feb. 18, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • well I am sure not everyone will agree with me but I expect childrento be children period. I do not go anywhere expecting children to be perfect ( unless it is an adult only place- and sometimes they act worse than kids).

    So, you keep taking him places and dealing with him the way you did, people who stare dont have manners either and peopel who stare are judgemental. They don't really make a difference to me in places like that.

    Your child deserves the same things other kids do!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 8:39 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • How is he ever going to learn to behave in a restaurant if you don't take him once in a while? Yes, there is a point where kids are over the top and if you teach them how they are supposed to behave and do your best to control it and it is just getting worse it is both a good lesson and good manors to pack up the meal and finish it at home.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 2:05 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • I think it's OK for you & your mom to have different comfort zones. It sounds to me like you were able to handle the experience without getting so embarrassed or frustrated that you inadvertently fed into things with your son or got really furious with him. It sounds like you can handle those situations without being too miserable/mortified, or rigid & harsh as a result. This might not be the case for everybody (like your mom?)
    Was your mom expressing her feelings & her personal limit about the situation (she won't take him places if this kind of behavior is likely)? Or was she seeming to imply that you "should" decide similarly, and this suggestion was frustrating or upsetting to you? My goal would be to hear her feelings & decisions as hers, personally. If she's suggesting how you should behave or proceed, I'd want to acknowledge her perspective & know that it doesn't imply anything about what I should/shouldn't do.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:12 PM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • I have a son on the spectrum as well. I took him out often but took another adult with me. If my son didn't behave, I took him out. If you don't enforce appropriate behavior he will never learn. The 2nd adult could stay with my other 2 kids. I removed my son from a lot of restaurants when he was younger, but now at 15 I can take him anywhere and he knows how to behave.
    Personally I wouldn't want my 2 and 4 yo's to hear the "potty words" your son was using.

    Answer by missanc at 6:54 AM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • I've practically raised my kids in restaurants so they really do know how to behave but they are older than your son. You have a different situation with his special needs. Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. He's a little kid and it's not like you took him to a five star steak house. Now about your mom. If she can't handle it, well, you have to just let that go. Some people have their limits. I think you handled things well, Mama!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:36 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • As long as I see the parent is TRYING then it doesn't bother me. What I hate is when a kid acts a fool and the parents ignores them.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 10:26 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • If you are at a typical "kid place", and he's just being noisy with words like pee and poop, I wouldn't even worry about it. People might stare but rudeness is always a reflection of the being rude, and doesn't have any bearing on anyone else.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 9:18 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I have seen worse from kids at nice places, I would not have thought anything of it if he was saying pee pee and poo poo. Now if he was coming right out and saying "I have to take a shit" then ya I would think you need to control your kid, but thats not the case.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • I do not think that you should keep him home, but I also think that if his actions were being disruptive to the other diners in the restaurant and if you telling him to stop did not get him to stop, he should have been removed from the situation either to calm him and then bring him back or leave and give him a new setting.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:55 PM on Feb. 18, 2013

  • It's understandable that your mother might not know how to properly handle a situation like that or want to be in an uncomfortable spot for her.

    Continue to take your child out. Mother's will understand. Some people won't. It's okay.

    Answer by staciandababy at 8:53 PM on Feb. 18, 2013