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2 Bumps

Conduct unbecoming in public setting...

I took my kids to a fast food place tonight and witnessed first hand something that my mom complained about the other day. I don't often take my kids out to eat do to financial restraints. I have to budget careful but could afford a cheap meal for them if I didn't get anything to eat so I just got coffee. While we were there my five year old (Who is on the spectrum) kept repeating loudly, Pee Pee and Poo Poo and Poop, and then laughing about it. I calmly told him that that was not nice to say in public and asked him if he had to go potty. He said no, so I told him if he kept saying it, I was going to take him anyway lol. I said if you don't want to go to the potty then you better stop saying that. He is very hyper anyway and his Doctor took him off his medication until after his evaluation in March so he is sometimes hard to calm down. People kept staring at him and I kept telling him nicely to sit down and use his inside voice and please pay attention to your own food.
Other than that what can I do?
I am slightly annoyed because my mom says that if he continues to act that way that she won't take him out anymore and that is her choice not mine and I see no reason that I should not take him out if I have the money. It's not like I took him to an expensive high class restaurant, it was fast food.
I don't see him as having behavior issues because I feel that he can't really help the way he acts. Is it fair to say that I should keep him home all the time? Isn't that the same thing they did in the 50's and 60's when they felt people with delays were a "dirty secret"? Why should he not have the same rights as typical developing children?
What are your thoughts, opinions on this?


Asked by AnonNdrag at 8:28 PM on Feb. 18, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I have a son on the spectrum as well. I took him out often but took another adult with me. If my son didn't behave, I took him out. If you don't enforce appropriate behavior he will never learn. The 2nd adult could stay with my other 2 kids. I removed my son from a lot of restaurants when he was younger, but now at 15 I can take him anywhere and he knows how to behave.
    Personally I wouldn't want my 2 and 4 yo's to hear the "potty words" your son was using.

    Answer by missanc at 6:54 AM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • I think it's OK for you & your mom to have different comfort zones. It sounds to me like you were able to handle the experience without getting so embarrassed or frustrated that you inadvertently fed into things with your son or got really furious with him. It sounds like you can handle those situations without being too miserable/mortified, or rigid & harsh as a result. This might not be the case for everybody (like your mom?)
    Was your mom expressing her feelings & her personal limit about the situation (she won't take him places if this kind of behavior is likely)? Or was she seeming to imply that you "should" decide similarly, and this suggestion was frustrating or upsetting to you? My goal would be to hear her feelings & decisions as hers, personally. If she's suggesting how you should behave or proceed, I'd want to acknowledge her perspective & know that it doesn't imply anything about what I should/shouldn't do.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:12 PM on Feb. 19, 2013

  • How is he ever going to learn to behave in a restaurant if you don't take him once in a while? Yes, there is a point where kids are over the top and if you teach them how they are supposed to behave and do your best to control it and it is just getting worse it is both a good lesson and good manors to pack up the meal and finish it at home.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 2:05 PM on Feb. 22, 2013