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My husband is good to me and does alot around the house but one thing he cant get me to do is have an orgasm.what can he do to make me have one?

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Asked by diana398 at 5:10 PM on Feb. 20, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,905 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • He can not make you have one. It is a cooperative thing. You have to be able to let the control go for one thing.
    Maybe PGA will have some advice for you.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:13 PM on Feb. 20, 2013

  • Did you try having sex????

    Answer by m-avi at 5:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2013

  • i would have an orgasm if my husband cleaned the house and i have a broken clitoris!

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:28 PM on Feb. 20, 2013

  • It's not his job to "give" you one. It is YOUR job to HAVE one!

    Guys are not born with a "how-to-make-her-cum" manual. He barely knows how his own parts work, let alone yours!
    Give yourself some orgasms, and then show him how.
    Put his hands on your body, show him how you want to be kissed, touched, licked, etc.

    I'm guessing you're not all that comfortable with sex and masturbation or this wouldn't be a problem!


    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:04 PM on Feb. 20, 2013

  • Look at Dr. Laura Berman's website, her show on OWN network, or get some of her books at the library.  She offers down to earth, sensible, advice and is tops in her field.  GL!!


    Answer by silverthreads at 7:44 PM on Feb. 20, 2013

  • Do you orgasm through masturbation? That's the first step - learning to do it yourself then showing him what you need. You are in charge of your orgasm, not him.

    Answer by missanc at 6:02 AM on Feb. 21, 2013

  • Try using a vibrator and let him be in control also try stimulating creams and try to go for the g-spot. Its hard for guys to acheive this with women but if the girl is on top then it is very douable and they feel accomplished. Good luck!

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:33 AM on Feb. 21, 2013

  • Have you experienced orgasms yourself but just not while being sexual together? So you know how to orgasm, but you're wanting to experience orgasm during sex so you both are satisfied?
    It's a matter of experiencing climax, and being able to get there with another person's involvement or help. I recommend letting go of any particular expectation of what it will be or how it will happen (such as it "should" be part of the outcome of having's something that "should" be happening when you get together) and focus instead on noticing what is happening when you are together. If you get tense or afraid, if you feel pessimistic or fatalistic and have judgmental thoughts about how you're defective or flawed or "just can't do it," if you feel disconnected from the experience (all in your head, or somewhere else), THAT is what you notice. Stop (pause), and share that you're really disconnected, or you just shut down (got

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:59 AM on Feb. 21, 2013

  • scared), or that you're worried about XYZ (pleasing him, doing a good job, being desirable, being able to have an orgasm.)
    This is intimacy because instead of plowing right over your emotional reality & proceeding with "sex" when you're not even THERE or fully involved in the experience (that, actually, is "performing"), you are being present & authentic, and you are honoring your experience. The more you do this, the more you will be there to HAVE an experience that might lead to arousal & ultimately climax.

    If it's more that you are feeling great & enjoying the sex but just not able to climax or "finish" when you're together, (rather than it being that you are having trouble feeling connected at all during sex), then focus on what would do it. What sensation would help? Give feedback about the stimulation & pay attention to your bodily responses. Ask for what you need; he will be learning. This is about communication.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:06 AM on Feb. 21, 2013

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