Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How do I keep the fire burning when he's away for work?

I'm 23 yrs old and 16 weeks pregnant and having some slef confidence issues. My boyfriend is an oil rig worker and he's gone for a month at a time and home for 1 week this time he's gonna be gone all of feb and march...I'm alone in calgary alberta with no family or friends here and I'm scared that he's going to lose interest in me. It seems our phone conversations have slowed down and gotten a little dull. He may be just tired from those long days, or I may be reading into things too much. But I need help! A confidence boost, and some friendly advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Adamsgirl8988 at 11:23 AM on Feb. 22, 2013 in Relationships

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Maybe some sexting or some skype playtime. If he is at a stable address you could also send him a care package with some of his favorite things or even just a card to let him know you are thinking about him. I wouldn't worry about the quantity of the conversations but try to make them as quality as possible.

    Answer by hatagaj at 11:25 AM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • I'm not sure what to tell you. You have to have maturity, respect, belief and trust for ANY relationship to survive. It sounds like yours may be lacking in all of the above. I'm not really jumping on board with the whole sexting thing and skype. That doesn't prevent anyone from doing what they are going to do anyway. The things I listed are what a true relationship is based on, not sex. It's time to grow up and figure out if he is trust worthy and/or if you are as well. You, too, play a big role in this. If you are bored, well, I'm assuming it's not going to happen.

    Answer by m-avi at 11:31 AM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • I agree that realationships are not based on sex, but I just suggested some things that can be fun for both parties when they are away from each other. I also suggested sending care packages and having quality conversations. Ultimately a person will do what they want to do and confidence/happiness has to come from within and not from an external source.

    Answer by hatagaj at 11:34 AM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • I've had to do the long distance thing a time or two, and it's the pits. I'm thinking that f the conversations are getting dull, it might be because you're covering the same old subjects. "How was your day?" "Fine, yours?" "Fine. It's pretty cold here."

    What about thinking of something you've liked to talk about before, or something interesting you saw on the news, and really gnawing on it together? That might put the spark back into limited phone time. Good luck!

    Answer by Ballad at 11:54 AM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • I do trust my partner, and love him with all my heart. This is my first pregnancy and as I said I'm having some self confidence issues right now especially because he's away and I'm getting lonely without friends or family! Adam or myself would NEVER be unfaithful. I'm just looking for new ways to keep the playfulness during our phone conversations. Andadvice on keeping that fire burning! ;) I'm also trying to get used to my new pregnant body. Tips on feeling confident and pretty again?

    Comment by Adamsgirl8988 (original poster) at 12:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • My biggest tip would be to take good care of yourself. Eat well and exercise, nothing too intense. Do your hair, dress to fit your body, and use things like body washes and sprays to make you feel and smell good. Also do nice things for yourself. Buy yourself a new book or take yourself out to eat or to a movie. You never know where you might meet a friend or 2 you have something in common with. Read and watch things that are encouraging and inspirational.

    Answer by hatagaj at 12:29 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • Keep busy & upbeat. You have a lot to look forward to with the new baby coming. Can't you go & stay with family while he is away? Why do you have to stay home alone? I used to only see my BF on weekends when we were dating & "absence made the heart grow fonder'! We married!


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:43 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • Skype and show him your goods. Try some mutual masturbation on cam, send him sexy pics.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 12:50 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • go do your nails find cute maturnity shirts and enjoy picking out names :)

    Answer by mamide02ninas at 1:18 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

  • Thanks funlovinlady. That would be my advice.
    You can each shop for a toy for the other, and use them together on the phone or on the cam.
    You're pregnant. Ya know what that means? BIGGER BOOBS! Show them off, play with them.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:30 PM on Feb. 22, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.