My oldest son is 13 Every teacher he has ever had has told me that he is brilliant. He is engaging and can carry on in depth conversations about what they have studied and all kinds of other things.
He is in an academically challenging charter school and is still beyond the level of the other students in his capabilities. It is the best school in our area. His teachers have told me that they are blown away at how quickly he catches on to ideas and runs with them, past what they are teaching. His school is very strict in their policies about turning in work and proving themselves. It is a very rigorous school in the requirements for quality of work they turn in.
Our issue is that he will not do his work. He can do it, but he doesn't. He is smart enough and capable enough, but he won't do it. He is at risk of being retained in eighth grade and not being allowed to move onto high school.
I was the same way. I always felt like I already understood the material it was a waste of my time to have to prove it. I still feel that way. I know in my heart there was nothing my parents could do to make me do the work, unless they sat with me and forced me to do every little thing. And I know my kid is the same and feels the same way.
Part of me feels like as parents we are doing a huge disservice to him by forcing him into this mold that he doesn't fit, that he will probably will never fit. The other part of me feels like he has to learn to conform and do what is required.
So what do we do with him? Do I force him to stay at this school where he is going to be retained because he won't do his work, even though he understands all of the material... most of the time better than the other students? Or do I take him out and try to home school him. My fear about home school is that I am not a regimented person by nature and I feel like I wouldn't be able to provide the education that my son needs. As a family we all have a great love of learning and are always looking for learning opportunities. I have no worries at all that he could go and pass the GED test right now, but he is not old enough.
I am just lost. Do any of you have any advice?
For the record... he is not ADD nor dyslexic.
Answer by Dardenella at 1:36 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
Does your son want to go to collage? I had a similar problem with my son. He has Aspergers, and while he is very smart, if he in not interested in a subject it's like pulling teeth to get him to put any effort into the class. He almost failed English, and he did fail biology. I had a talk with him about his future goals. He is an amazing musician. He can play any instrument he touches. His grasp of music theory is stunning. His sight reading ability is incredible. He said wanted to go to collage and study music. So I said, your grades in all classes in high school will determine what collage will accept you. So, do you want to go to the collage of your dreams, or do you want to go to a collage that is willing to take you? The better your GPA, the more prestigious collage you can get into. If your GPA is low, you might have to go to community collage. Your choice.
Answer by musicmaker at 1:49 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
By the way, I don't have anything against community collage. I went to a community collage, but I knew my son didn't think of community collage as up to his abilities. . It worked. He ended up graduating with honors, and was accepted into his first choice university, and they even gave him a substantial scholarship.
Answer by musicmaker at 2:23 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:23 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
I tried the punishment, reward, begging , pleading, nagging, yelling, going to a counselor, thing . . . didn't work. I finally had to let it go,(counselors advise) and just inform him that his actions were going to have severe consequences on his future plans, and he was going to have to live with those consequences.
Answer by musicmaker at 2:42 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:12 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
Answer by musicmaker at 3:22 AM on Feb. 23, 2013
Next question overall
Was my son wrong for ending the relationship because of htis?