I am a mother to an 8 yr little girl. Her father was never around till this past Aug and he still really isnt there. Calls maybe once every two months. So anyway, I raise her without her father. I had a little girl in July 07 and placed her with her family. The relationship with her bd was hard and rocky to say the least. Somehow, we started talking about and have worked through things and started a "new" relationship in Jan 08 and have been together since. In Sept 08 I became pregnant again by the same man. We are keeping this one. We are in a way different place than before and are very excited to parent this child.
My question is, will I be a good mother to this child too? I still miss and morn for our daughter we placed and I am fearful that once this lil guy gets here, all I am going to do is slip back into the moment of July 07 when I had our daughter. Will I love him as his own person?
Sorry for the long post.
Answer by Destiny10807 at 10:06 AM on Feb. 15, 2009
Answer by mysa at 10:41 AM on Feb. 15, 2009
I pray he is ready to parent both of your children, 8 yr old included, in a way that gives her love, security and stability that perhaps her own father doesn't provide. With that said, I believe you may have a conflicted heart that wants to feel guilty about loving this child and not having his sister with you. Know in your heart that had things been different you might have done different, but the past is the past, and you can use the memories of her to guide you to be the best mom that both of your children deserve. Sometimes in life, we get 2nd chances, and it sounds like to me that you might believe this to be a 2nd chance. Forgive him & yourself for the past, and go forward with all your heart! Good luck & God Bless!
Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:13 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
Answer by lighthousemom3 at 2:40 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
Answer by lighthousemom3 at 2:42 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
I think you'll grieve the loss of that child forever. Give yourself permission to do that, just don't let it paralyse you. On holidays and her birthday acknowledge to yourself that you miss her and wonder what she's up to. Pray for her and then move on and be with your son. Good luck to you!!
Answer by shmorris56 at 3:21 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
Answer by sizesmith at 11:41 PM on Feb. 15, 2009
You will love this child for all that HE is as well as you will see his sister in him. It would only be normal and natural. And you said it yourself, you are in a different place now. Your child you placed with her adoptive family will understand that. So will your son. We make decisions based on where we are today and not where we were three years ago or even where we will be in the future. At least not decisions based on reality. Most likely you will be a very conscientious mother and will think about your parenting and reasons for doing things more than most parents because of your experiences. I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Feb. 16, 2009
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:18 PM on Feb. 16, 2009