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Funny story, a must read!

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!


Asked by AnonNdrag at 5:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2013 in Just for Fun

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Rotfl! Good one!

    Answer by PandaGwen at 5:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • LOL

    Answer by 3libras at 7:02 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • lol

    Answer by OneDay. at 8:29 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • LOL!

    Answer by louise2 at 8:32 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • one of the ladies posted this a while back, said it was their story and they had done this?

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:47 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • one of the ladies posted this a while back, said it was their story and they had done this?

    Answer by staciandababy an hour ago

    So...what is the question mark about? You're accusing me of being the other person who posted this a while back?
    I never claimed that this had happened to me, and I don't claim this is my story either. I don't even have a husband so not sure what your point is. I got this off of facebook and it originally came from a site called (or something close to it, didn't pay that close of attention to the link).
    It is possible that more than one person on the internet has seen this joke, especially since it's an old Urban legend that has been circulating the better half of 30 years.

    Comment by AnonNdrag (original poster) at 7:54 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • i think Michigan was the one that posted this before

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • Michigan mom*

    OP i dont think staci was accusing you of anything, why did you get so defensive? She was just ? marked it because she was confused.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • I have my guard up because I've been accused before of posting stuff that "looked like another post" that was evidently posted by a troll. granted I haven't been getting harassed like I was when I first started coming here but I don't feel like one of the "regulars" yet so I still feel a little out in left field like someone of the people here don't yet trust me. If she didn't mean anything by her post then I apologize for being snippy.

    Comment by AnonNdrag (original poster) at 9:27 PM on Feb. 23, 2013

  • Also I'm a little drunk....

    Comment by AnonNdrag (original poster) at 9:28 PM on Feb. 23, 2013