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Does the military let people get married if they have been sworn in and have not gone to basic training yet? If not will they if the guy gets his girlfriend pregnant before he goes to basic training?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Feb. 15, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • It depends on the service and the situation as well as the ages of those involved. He should be very careful about changing anything before he leaves for basic. It could defraud his enlistment. Many times the service member must put in a request for permission to get married. At minimum do nothing until he at least checks with his recruiter. If they say go ahead..make them WRITE IT DOWN.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:08 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I married my husband the day after he graduated from basic training. The only problem we ran into was I had to wait until he got to his base and added me as a dependant before I could live on post with him. Of course, his first base was in Germany so it may be a little different if he is stationed stateside. Also, you really are not in the military (even if you have already sworn in) until you have completed basic training. The military can not tell you who to marry or who not to marry. However, there is a famous saying in the Army- If the Army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one. Good luck.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • The military doesn't have any say on when or if you can get married. I hope you're not planning to get pregnant just so you have permission to marry. If you decide to get married before training, make sure he lets the recruiter know of the change in circumstance cuz there will be alot of paperwork/updates to claim you as his dependent and get paid according to his married status. My advise to you is to wait after his training to get married. Once he arrives at his first duty station, he can update all the paperwork, claiming you as his dependent, and then send for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Feb. 15, 2009


    Answer by Synaura at 1:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • 12:51 has it right. They can't tell you when you can marry. I would also advise against getting pregnant and not being married because you won't have Tricare coverage until you're married. Military life can be stressful. It's good to see if your relationship can handle the distance apart, moving, lack of communication at times, and to make sure that trust is there before you totally commit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • You can get married (I married mine 4 days after he ffinished Navy bootcamp) and the guy can have a pregnant wife or girlfriend or existing children. It's actually very common. My husband was married and had 2 children when he went in to Army basic training (after the Navy).

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • The military can't tell you that you can't get married, though, depending on some things, it can be a problem (for instance, if he has a clearance and you aren't a US citizen...). However, if he's not gone to boot camp / basic training yet, then he is NOT in the military. He's in what's called the DEP, or delayed entry program.

    Yes, he's taken an oath, but it's for that. There will not be enough time for him to actually be sworn into Active Duty military and you to get married. It's literally they sign you out of DEP then you take the oath swearing you in, and they ship you off to basic all in the same day. He will not be allowed to leave to get married between swearing in and going to bootcamp.

    As far as getting married while he's in DEP, that does depend on the branch of service, etc - some make you get a waiver to enlist if you're married and have dependents when you want to join - for the reasons listed below

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • The reason some branches make you get a waiver to join if you have a family already is because a lot of overseas duty stations do not allow you to take a family with you if you're below a certain paygrade and have less than a certain number of years in service. The lowest I've seen for a base that had restrictions like that are E-4 with over 2 yrs of service.

    If you come in the military with a family and can't take them with you when you go overseas, then either they have to not send you (which isn't likely), or they separate you from your family, which frequently causes a huge headache for the military, dealing with a new, jr enlisted who misses their spouse and kids. (btw - when I talk about duty stations overseas, I'm NOT talking about when they're deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan or anything like that - I'm talking about things like stationed in Italy or Japan, etc.)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • cont

    So, the best thing that you can do is to talk to the recruiter, and also do a search of the regs for your particular branch of service. Your recruiter might not want you to get married, because it means more paperwork for them, but if you research the regs for your branch, then talk to the recruiter (or, if you want, call a different recruiting center for your branch and ask them what you need to do to join if you're married), and go from there.

    PS - yes, you are considered Active Duty military even in boot camp / basic training, and if you are married, you are eligible for benefits from that time, and you do get paid during that time.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • It would be a very selfish act to purposely impregnate his girlfriend before leaving--not only to the girl but for the child. If he were mature he would wait until he is through all of his training and attached to a regular base--then marry the girl and get to know each other and then bring a child into the whole thing.  My son recently told me the Rangers have over an 80% divorce rate on first marriages and even higher on second.  It takes a MATURE young woman to love and stay married to a military man especially the groups such as the Rangers.  And a young woman who would get pregnant before basic---isn't that mature. She is setting her and her child up for a lot of heart ache.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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