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Need advice on a so called friendship

I became friends with this person about two years ago. It all started when her son developed a crush on my daughter in high school. My daughter didn't feel the same way romantically speaking about her son, but the mom and I developed a friendship anyway. Her younger son and my son also played on the same football team, so the two boys became friends as well. Our family even went on vacation with their family this past summer. I also helped this friend through a very tragic event about 4 months ago. I felt as though we were more like sisters. About 3 weeks ago, her son and my daughter had a fallen out. He accused her of starting a rummer about him. She didn't start the rummer, but she did repeat it. My husband and I have spoken with her about this and she understands that it is very wrong to repeat gossip. Come to find out the rummer is true, but the boy is mad at my daughter. Cont.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Feb. 15, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • This is a tough one...Though, if you are close you should be able to say all of this to her..especially the part about teenage drama getting in the way of a friendship. She may appreciate the chance to talk to you about this. She probably misses you too. Just don't mention the part about her being nice just so her son could play more football. That wouldn't go over well, and I doubt that was her sole reason for the friendship. You are just hurt now and because you have so little to go on are probably looking for reasons. It has only been three weeks...I'd consider it a tiff - not an end.
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 1:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • My "friend" also works at the same high school that my daughter goes to. My son doesn't like her son anymore either. He says he always says mean things to him. Ever since all of this drama, she hasn't called me. I've called her and she hasn't brought anything up, but she doesn't stay on the phone long either. I sent her a really sweet friendship card for valentines and my daughter made her a cake. (she is always making things and taking them to her at school) I was told that I have to have some minor surgery and she knows about it but hasn't called or anything. I am deeply hurt that some teenage drama could end our friendship. I guess I am not as important to her as I thought I was. What should I do? My daughter has another year at this school and my son starts in the fall. Oh, also, my husband was her younger sons football coach and I'm wondering if she was just nice to me so her son would get to play more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • Probably she's torn between her kids feelings and her friendship with you. Let some time pass and wait for her to contact you. Encourage her kids to smile and be polite with her kids regardless of their reactions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • maybe you should invite her out for coffee or something and talk and let her know that it really hurts you that your friendship is falling apart. You have to also put yourself in her shoes. You sound like a great mother and as a great mother you want to protect your children to matter what. This rummor could have been somethign very embarrasing and troubling which is whats making her son act like this torts your children. You might also suggest a meeting between your family and theres to apologize to one another and unite each other. She might also realize that it's becoming to much for her and some people have had bad high school experiences maybe this is way too familiar to her and shes having a hard time dealing with it. If the friendship is over ask her and if you guys need a little space ask her as well. I would stop trying to become friends with someone that doesnt want my friendship.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:31 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I'm guessing if the rumor was true and it's something negative then she's dealing with a lot herself. Give her some space and let things settle down. If she's a real friend, she'll be back.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:57 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • What's a rummer?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

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