Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

The van is in his name but we got it while married. He says he is going to call the cops and have them take it away from me.

I am at a woman's shelter with our 7 kids.if it is marital assets can he take it away? He says that if the kids and I are not coming back in Friday he is gonna send the cops to come and get it. I have driven that van everyday since we have gotten it, driving the kids to school , doctors appt, etc.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Feb. 24, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • He says that if we don't come back on Friday he is takin it away from me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • Let him have the van. Keep protecting yourself and your children. There are many community organizations out there, that the shelter will be able to help you with, that will get you another vehicle.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:38 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • It is marital assets and it is in his name. Yes he can at least until you go to court.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:38 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • I'd tell him to go pick it up in a really bad area of town. Leave the keys in the ignition by the way & the doors open. I hope you keep yourself & the kids safe. Can you go to a family members home? GL

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:41 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • is the shelter you are in a women's abuse shelter?
    if so, he should have no idea where you are- these places are kept a secret for reason that abuse men are abusive

    a real abuse shelter will not only protect you but will have info concerning the law- will not give you legal advise but will advise

    if he knows where this womens shelter is- the staff needs to know to alert police and make extra precautions if you can not go to another one, like if you are in smaller town and not another one for miles

    it is yours as much as his legally, if he takes- it will not look good in court for him- document all of this

    he has not much of his control, and control is what abusers use
    WATCH OUT an abuser that has lost control and when a woman leaves is a very dangerous man

    are you getting services at this shelter? or is it just a homeless shelter with no professional thee that works with abused women?????

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • I'd tell him to go pick it up in a really bad area of town. Leave the keys in the ignition by the way & the doors open.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie 7

    ^ better yet, file a police report on him for abusing you...then park the van at the police station for him to pick it up there, leave the keys at the front desk of the police station

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • Empty threat. He will not do that. Stay at the shelter. Get the help you deserve.

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:55 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • Can you look up for charitable organizations, churches, governmental insitutions etc. that would be able to help / direct you? How about guides that can be found in a library on any topics that interests you? Voluntary advice given by students of a law (free of charge) at universities? hope these ideas work

    Answer by kujus04 at 2:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • Tell him to shove that van exactly where it will do the most good. Ride the bus if you have to. Don't let fear of losing your wheels drive you back to an abusive man.

    I like Pax's idea about leaving the van at the police station after filing a report about the man abusing you. Fight back! Grab hold of your inner power, for your sake and the sake of your children.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:07 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

  • If he is an abuser and control freak he will not want to say "My wife stole my van and took my 7 kids to a shelter, that's where the van is and I want it back" because abusers want people to think they are awesome. He would know the police would be thinking - well how else would this women get all her children safely to this shelter without her car and why is she there in the first place.

    He doesn't want that.

    And if he is stupid enough to do that- OH WELL. YOU ARE SAFE.

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:13 PM on Feb. 24, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN