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New big brother to be is NOT Happy with mommy (to be)

I am approx. 17 weeks along, and we recently told our 4 yo that he's going to be a big brother. He didn't even acknowledge what we said. The next day he told me he hated the idea of being a big brother, but wouldn't say why. I dropped it, and figured he'd approach us with the idea later. He didn't. For DAYS. In fact, he still hasn't. When my family (whom he's close to) asks him about becoming a big brother, he just leaves the room. So at this point we've bought him toys, ordered a big brother tshirt with a cool truck on it, taken him for ice cream, tried to talk about it, listed all the cool big brothers he already knows, bought him more toys (seriously, i need help here)...

Has anyone dealt with this? I don't know what to do and the mommy guilt is driving me crazy and broke.

Answer Question
 
parentingscents

Asked by parentingscents at 2:37 AM on Feb. 25, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Talk about a new baby can overwhelm kids. Especially if he is an only child right now. And especially when they are told early on that they will have a sibling........it's a long wait with constant talk about the new baby. You might want to drop all talk of the baby for now and ask others to do the same. Make him your big helper in everything you do....folding clothes, loading the dryer, etc, etc and continue this when the baby comes.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:50 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • He may not fully understand what being a big brother means...unless there are other siblings of course. But when you make a big deal about it, it may scare him...because then he knows its something big...but he doesnt know what to expect. I would give him time and try not to make it a huge thing (I know it is a huge deal but when your 4 it can be scarry) just casual commments about the baby coming such as...here is where the baby will sleep, you will still have your bed...
    I remember when I was 6 my mom was pregnant and I was unhappy about it, I remember that I thought it it was a girl I wouldnt be mommy's little girl anymore. Well my sister came, I was angry andthen I got over it and we became best friends.
    Aubsnjack

    Answer by Aubsnjack at 7:34 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • instead not insread.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:52 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • Ballad has a piont. Stop giving this Big Brother thing attention. You told him. He will come around. He has to. Or insread of gifts he will get punished. In the future if he tries to hurt the baby I mean.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:51 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • You know, I hate to say it, but your kid might be milking this thing. He's hit the jackpot by not being happy with the idea of becoming a big brother. He gets toys, ice cream, and lots of attention. Why should he warm jup to the possibilities? Kids figure these things out. I would pull the plug on the toys and pep talks. Don't say any more about it. His outing may get worse before it gets better, but his curiosity will be piqued as your belly gets bigger. He'll come around on his own, if he isn't getting basically paid not to.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:04 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

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