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2 Bumps

Classes before marriage

My sister is getting married in October. The preacher her soon to be is wanting to use requires them to take these premarital classes. I personally think it is a good idea. Her, not so much. She thinks it is an invasion of privacy, which doesn't really make sense to me. Anyway, if you were or are married did you take these classes? Did they seem to be a waste of time?

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RelaxedMom2-3

Asked by RelaxedMom2-3 at 9:47 AM on Feb. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Level 21 (12,196 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • They sound like a good idea in theory so that people know what to expect and really make a good decision before getting married. In practice though, I don't know since I've not taken them before and don't know how invasive it may get. I would probably feel more comfortable taking classes outside of a religious frame b/c if I am going to get into intimate details, I'd prefer it be with a total stranger I probably won't see again.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 9:52 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • We had to take the class but still ended up divorced.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:02 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • I didn't do this because back when I was married for the first time, it wasn't required. My state now has a law that you get some form of premarital counseling or else you pay more for your license.

    My sister and her husband did get counseling from their preacher. He really wasn't interested in most of their answers, he was more interested in whether or not they were in agreement. He asked I think about 2 pages worth of questions, like how many children, who will discipline, how will child(ren) be disciplined (spank or not), what role will extended family play, joint bank accounts, wife work or not, husband does housework or not, how often will you have sex, overnight business trips ok or not, deal breakers, communication, argument styles, etc.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:17 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • oh, and my sis and her dH have been married for 6 yrs and did find it helpful.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:18 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • I took them. I think it's a great idea be ause usually they ask questions such as those listed above that can spark conversations about areas you may not have thought of, but that you should be in agreement on.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:20 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • They are a very good idea. Most of the time, couples get married because they are "in love" and they really haven't even thought about those things that will stop the love flowing in a heartbeat. I see the counseling as more like a wake-up call to what the real life is going to be like.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:25 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • normal. many people i know had to do the same. they didnt find it Helpful but more just a step in the process to get the wedding they wanted... when Dh and i were engaged we were very young so they wanted to see us even more then their regular couples.. that annoyed me. I felt like my age was keeping me from being treated like the norm. Old enough to vote, have sex, smoke,gamble and go to war, but not old enough to get married? offended me at the time. we ended up going another route and are still going strong.. cant say the same for some of the other marriages that started off in those classes.
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 11:29 AM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • I don't see where it could hurt them. I never had to, but don't think I would have said no if they were required.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:02 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • In the Catholic Religion you are required to go to Pre-Cana classes. They are taught by married couples. You just sit there listen, partake in some chit chat. You don't have to say anything personal. They just talk to you about using natural birth control (rhythm method), raising your children to be Catholic, attending Church etc. & if you need to talk you can call them or sit down with a Priest any time. If you don't take the class you cannot marry in that Church.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • BTW, I did it. Not a big deal.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

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