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How do you handle "Mommy Competition"?

I have several friends that had had their children around the same time I had my own... and I find myself constantly comparing their children's development to my DS. Its frustrating, and makes me feel like a failure because my BFF's daughter is younger and further along than my own son. How do I stop competing? I want to focus on teaching my son, not how he ranks.


Asked by DaisyDarkly at 12:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Try not to compare him to other kids and instead learn to appreciate his strengths and continue to work on his weaknesses. They all learn to do things on their own schedule. Let him be his own person and love him for who he is, now for what you think he should be.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:33 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • You aren't really comparing your children, you are comparing yourself as a mother. This is a problem you've created for yourself. Don't let your self-esteem issues get in the way of enjoying your son.

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • Don't let it get to you. Every child develops differently & has different strengths. My own mother used to make me feel bad about my oldest. She was very quiet her first 2 yrs of life & barely spoke. But, then overnight, she started using complete sentences and started reading at 3.

    My youngest didn't start walking until she was almost 16 months old but, she was climbing as young as 10 months. Now, she's very coordinated for her age.

    My point is not to brag, but to make the point that being behind now (unless there is a medical issue) is not a big deal.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • its hard not to compare. just try to relax and not focus too much on how your friends child developes. girls do tend to learn faster then boys. and just because she may be ahead of him doesnt mean he is actually behind.

    Answer by nnh_mama at 12:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • That's all on YOU. Have you tried seeing a counselor about your issues?

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2013

  • They'll all develop eventually. Don't let the precious baby years go by comparing your son to anybody. Just resolve not to do it; it's a waste of emotional energy.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2013