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2 Bumps

What advice would you give this man? adult content

When my wife and I met in college, the attraction was immediate, and we quickly became inseparable. We had a number of things in common, we came from the same large metropolitan area, and we both wanted to return there after school, so everything was very natural between us. We married soon after graduation, moved back closer to our families, and had three children by the time we were 30. We were both born to lesbians, she to a couple, and me to a single woman. She had sought out her biological father as soon as she turned 18, as the sperm bank her parents used allowed contact once the children were 18 if both parties consented. I never was interested in learning about that for myself, but she felt we were cheating our future children by not learning everything we could about my past, too. Well, our anniversary is coming up and I decided to go ahead and, as a present to my wife, see if my biological father was interested in contact as well. He was, and even though our parents had used different sperm banks, it appears so did our father, as he is the same person. On the one hand, I love my wife more than I can say, and logically, done is done, we already have children. I have had a vasectomy, so we won't be having any more, so perhaps there is no harm in continuing as we are. But, I can't help but think "This is my sister" every time I look at her now. I haven't said anything to her yet, and I don't know if I should or not. Where do I go from here? I am tempted to burn everything I got from the sperm bank and just try to forget it all, but I'm not sure if I can. Please help me figure out where to go from here.


I have a hard time believing it but if it was me, I don't think i could continue on with the marriage and would need counseling for the rest of my life. 


Asked by LostSoul88 at 10:53 AM on Feb. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Level 40 (119,496 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • is this even for real?!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:04 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • I saw this on Facebook this morning!! I can't believe it. What are the odds, right?

    Answer by PandaGwen at 10:55 AM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Wouldn't the marriage now be illegal?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:04 AM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • yes it is illegal.....this is why men who are not donating sperm but sleeping with tons of ladies and vice versa needs to stop because brothers and sisters that dont know they are related are starting families together. smh so sad for him i would seek counseling asap

    Answer by mamide02ninas at 12:08 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Wow, what a coincidence!

    I think the man will eventually have to tell his wife, only because he will have difficulty continuing in the marriage with the knowledge he is now burdened with. The children will also have to be monitored closely for medical issues, I would guess.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:24 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • I would be sick to my stomach! I wonder if this is true, and just to be 100% sure I would have a DNA test done, you really never know WHO's sperm ended up there? I was reading an article the other day on sperm banks before they were regulated, and many of them used the same person's over and over, even though you thought you were getting the one you picked.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 12:45 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • They would be half brother and sister, right? so not a lot closer than first cousins?

    Answer by Bmat at 1:08 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Interesting but when I got married they did blood tests and I would think some red flag would have come up then.
    I find this hard to believ for one thing it is hard to find out who your sperm donor father or child is from one facility, but to find out from two. Highly unlikely.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:20 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • I would advise him to be open and honest with his wife. That's what marriage is about. Deceiving her will haunt him the rest of his life and quite possibly destroy their relationship anyway.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 2:55 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • I wonder how often this happens and couples do not know.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 5:46 PM on Feb. 26, 2013