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Hitting

I was hoping for some ideas to discipline my 6 year old son when he hits. A lot of times he's just playing but he hits hard and we still don't want him to do it. There are also times where he is not playing and he's mad. He does struggle a little socially and I know that this is part of the reason why he's doing this. I am going to take him to a social class suggested by his pediatrician. I'm not against hitting as discipline but am not a fan of it, I don't feel like its a great way to teeach kids, telling them if you make me mad it's okay to hit you, in the real world that doesn't fly. However, I'm not going to have my child hitting me either. The most recent idea that I thought of that i'm going to try is getting a rubbermaid container and everytime he hits or has a tempertantrum a toy goes in the bin and he has to earn it back. His listening has not been great either so this may help with that. Thanks for the suggestions.

 
mlmsm928

Asked by mlmsm928 at 2:18 PM on Feb. 26, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • My daughter hasn't hit very often, but when she has, I simply remove her from where people are and make her sit in her time-out spot and cool down awhile. If you hit, then you can't be around people. Logical consequences. When you calm down and apologize, you can come back. I agree that smacking a child to teach him not to hit just reinforces the idea that it's okay to hit when you're mad, but not till you're bigger than the other person.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:29 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Immediate & consistent time outs. Losing privileges, & a behavior chart that allows him to work toward earning a prize. Hopefully the class his Dr. suggested will help too. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:28 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • You don't spank because the child makes you mad. You spank to correct wrong behaviors. At 6, he is able to understand behaviors and consequences. I would have a talk with him and explain to him that his hitting others is a problem, that I've tried other consequences and they haven't stopped his wrong behavior, so as of today, I will be trying a new form of discipline--spanking. If he hits, he will be spanked--not because Mommy is mad but because Mommy cannot allow hitting in her home. Don't spank him with your hands. Use an "instrument of discipline" such as a small flexible ruler. Show it to him when you speak with him and tell him this is what you will use. Every time you use it, you can explain to him that this hurts you to have to do, but his learning respectful behavior is more important than your comfort. Spank on bare skin, just hard enough to make it sting. He won't like it, but he will learn from it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:54 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Thanks Mrsmom110
    mlmsm928

    Comment by mlmsm928 (original poster) at 2:29 PM on Feb. 26, 2013

  • Definitely use the knotty step and do not hit your kid we live in 2013 and child abuse is not the way to raise the kids of today. Some parents might enroll their child in martial arts. They teach children how to control aggressive behavior and give them an outlet for some of this energy. also The instructors would be someone else besides yourself telling him hitting is bad.

    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 8:32 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Nanny B - I disagree with you. If you were my boss and you had to correct my behavior you could not hit me. Where in the "real world" is hitting okay. That's what I mean by hitting being acceptable. I do not critisize people who hit but I just don't chose to. Don't get me wrong if he comes out and whacks me he's getting hit back but its is not my choice of primary punishment.
    mlmsm928

    Comment by mlmsm928 (original poster) at 12:32 PM on Mar. 20, 2013