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2 Bumps

Is my fiance selfish or am I over exxagerating?

My fiance in my eyes is hard to figure out. He buys me things here and there, but mainly if I'm literally broke then he'll pay not when he knows I have money though unless I ask. We agreed that he would pay our $1000 mortgagge and I would handle the bills ($550). I work part time (20) and he works full time around 60 hours average a week. I'm finishing nursing school so I make about 18k a year. He makes 52k. I dont mind the bills we should both put into the home, but like I pay for everything around the house also from dog food, to baby diapers, to groceries on top of the $550 a month in bills and I'm preparing to purchase a new vehicle (new to me) because my car is on its last leg so soon add a car note to that $550.

I00 will cook dinner and he will take the most (sometimes I take leftovers for lunch at work to save on eating out) and anything that is left over he will eat up before I get the opportunity to. I bought like30 wings once and i told him there were wings I came home to 3 wings left. If we order pizza we order 2 but I share mines with our kids while he eats a whole one to himself. I may buy a particular food /i like for myself and then something for him, he'll eat bothor eat his up and share the one I prefer between the kids and himself. I buy a gallon of orange juice for him and the kids its gone in two days and the kids barely see a drop.

I'm becoming annoyed. I hate a empty fridge but I'm going broke paying all this money for groceries that it seems like no one enjoys but him. And then if he thinks somethings old, he'll just toss it in the garbage without asking me, when Im the one who buys everything. He's not a large man he's 5'9 175 pounds, but his appetite is killing me. I consider him and buy dinner on my way home. He NEVER does it.He'll eat out with friends at work and come home and say Im not hungry and go to bed while I have to cook for myself and the kids. Is this something that can become a big issue or am I over exxagerating.

Im considering asking him to help out on buying the groceries. He likes welch's and expensive brand foods which I do as well, but I'm the one forking out the extra bucks for the higher quality. I see nothing wrong with maybe splitting the grocery cost so I have a red cent at the end of the month to maybe get my hair washed.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Feb. 27, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • One thing STOP BUYING STUFF FOR ONLY HIM. You need to sit him down and talk about his excessive eating.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • If you're having problems BEFORE you're even married, then I'd seriously reconsider getting married. Unless you two can sit down & rationally talk about expenses & what everyone's role should be.

    My ex husband ate like a pig too but, that's not why we had problems. When we were married, we only had 1 checking account. So, when I was working (prior to having children) both of our paychecks went in there. There was no "I pay this & you pay this". WE paid everything.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:09 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • Are the kids his as well? If they aren't his, there is a part of me that says that you may have to work full time and finish school part time. You have to support your kids.
    But it sounds like they might be his in which case I think the entire budget should be added up and then you should give proportionate to your income. By a quick calculation you make 34% of his income, so you should pay for 34% of the household bills and he should pay the other 66%.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:23 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • 1) Guys naturally tend to eat more. (they have higher calorie intake levels and burn through calories faster than women in many cases) so on the aspect of how much he eats, yeah you're being rather petty.
    2) On the same note you shouldn't be paying for everything but the mortgage. At this point (engaged) you both should have been considering a joint account which you BOTH pay into in order to pay for bills,groceries, household costs, etc. whatever is left over goes into your own personal account for "extras" such as getting hair done at the salon, etc.
    3) Most importantly to figure out the household costs etc. Both parties must sit down together and create a BUDGET and stick to it.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:02 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • Stop buying the things he likes and get what is economically smart. If he doesn't like it, he can go buy the products he prefers. A whole pizza to himself is a lot, regardless of his age and weight. And yes, he does sound selfish. After you get married how will you handle finances?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:05 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • He is very selfish, and you are very foolish for putting up with him. I would have already shown him the door and helped him get out it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:57 AM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • Think about this before marrying him! He will not change just because a piece of paper has been signed!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:31 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • This seems like a road down hill to me. Are the children "his" as well as yours?
    Some men see and the other bills to include all other expenses. I do as well BTW. He feels he is keeping his end of the agreement.
    BTW whose name is the house in?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:35 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • And you are still with this guy? Selfish bastard. do not ask. Tell him. You will start helping with the food bill. if he refuses, stop buying the expensive food. Buy the cheap food. If he complains. Say. You have money, buy it your self.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • We always put the money together and one person control the money. If he already pulling that kind of stuff I would think twice about getting married to him you will get fed up and be miserable
    sally1973

    Answer by sally1973 at 5:57 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

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