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Apologize?????????????????????

I have heard  some moms say that they discipline their kids, then apologize to them?  Why?   I don't comprehend that?

They should apologize to you for being bad. Not the other way around.

 
louise2

Asked by louise2 at 3:21 PM on Feb. 27, 2013 in General Parenting

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Answers (21)
  • I wouldn't apologize
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:21 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • i have apologized to my kids when i lose my temper and yell at them. it seemed to occur frequently during the 3 year old phases. but say, for example, 6 year old DD got her ds priviliges taken away for x amount of time for doing something bad, no, i wont apologize.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • If I wind up losing my temper and yelling, I will apologize. It's a good time to teach kids that people sometimes say things they don't mean and that its okay to step up and admit when you're wrong.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I apologize if I lose my temper or yell. Just because they misbehave doesn't mean they deserve for me to yell. So yes, I'll apologize for doing that. It doesn't mean they get off scot free. They know what I'm saying. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. But you know why I got so angry with you, don't you?"
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:54 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • louise2, I would apologize to a child for behavior of mine that I regret.

    I wonder if you've read accounts here of a mom yelling (etc.) at kids & then apologizing, and saw it as apologizing for disciplining them when in reality she was apologizing for how she handled her feelings of anger. That wouldn't make sense to you if you think yelling is justified. But I think some parental behaviors happen even though they shouldn't. When that is the case, then an apology makes sense.

    I see the possibility of a parent responding inappropriately (even if she didn't commit a "reportable offense" or break a law.)

    I'd apologize for impulsive & angry reactions--for something like getting retaliatory, saying things in the heat of the moment that I regretted, being harsh or rough. I don't think misbehavior justifies those things. It's a matter of acknowledging what happened, that I regret it, & being clear that it wasn't the child's fault.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I've apologized (well, not exactly apologized but, more like shown sympathy for my DDs). For example, one or both of them is difficult in the morning pretty much everyday. At least 2 times a week, I end up having to yell at my oldest to get dressed & get ready for school. On the way to school, I'll say something like "I really wish we would've had a better morning. I don't like having to yell at you before school." I'll say that because I don't want her to start her school day upset or in a bad mood.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 3:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I do to an extent. I will say ' I am sorry you lost your dessert for tonight because I know that makes you sad but when you are not listening and following directions you loose special privileges like having (insert treat here) for dessert. We can try again tomorrow right? We'll have a better day?'
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:10 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I apologize if I act out of anger and go overboard (usually yelling unnecessarily). I don't apologize for disciplining. I do make sure they know what they did wrong, not just punish them.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:34 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • I have apologized for losing my temper and raising my voice. Kids will follow the examples they see, and my daughter has no problem apologizing when she does something wrong, at least eventually she will. I don't believe in making kids apologize if they aren't sorry, but I feel if I apologize when I make a mistake, she will too. I don't apologize for deserved discipline, although I might say something like, "I love you no matter what you say or do, but I don't like having to scold you or make you sit on the stairs. We'll have more fun if you behave, don't you think?"
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • Maybe you would have a relationship with your kids if you applied some of these methods when raising your kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2013