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Just really need to vent about this time of life....the hardest things i have ever had to deal with and i feel so alone even when dh holds me :,( adult content

this yr in january we lost our daughter and then i am having trouble dealing with that not to mention i am working as is my husband and we work together but my boss said he needs new workers in wentzville missouri and they will pay half of our moving cost since we have two kids and live in iowa and they will also cover our deposit on anywhere we choose to live but that is it.better something than nothing though. Plus the past 11 days i have been pmsing and having a very hard time mentally and physically and i am just so depressed they have me on sertraline 50 mgs 1 time everyday but its still not helpping much so in two weeks we will see about upping my dose up to 100 mg. i just feel like i need a huge hug and im so tired of feeling alone!!! i should be holding my daughter not missing her and i cant help but look at my other daughters and see how different they are and wonder who she would grow up and act like or who she would look like? she looked like her dad when she was born and 52 minutes later she died. :,( my husband holds everything together so well yet i go to work come home and cry for a while til i feel better until the next time. im tired of this! i am going to counseling but writing it down just makes everything worse!!! i just want someone to listen and see how much i am suffering and wishing someone could help me be at peace with GOD's decision to take my angel. im soooo alone then my sil just says life goes on and if i keep dwelling on "the past" ill never be able to move to "the now". i hate this plz no bashing me, just people who know how i feel and my worries and doubts are normal feelings.

Answer Question
 
mamide02ninas

Asked by mamide02ninas at 8:20 PM on Feb. 27, 2013 in About CafeMom

Level 17 (4,224 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I'm so sorry this is happening. I can't imagine what you r going thru. Just try ur best and be strong for your family and if venting helps go ahead and vent
    sally1973

    Answer by sally1973 at 8:23 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • hugsI cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. Hugs to you.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:24 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • (((((HUGS))))) You just told us and I can hear by your voice you are not ready to move on. People can say life goes on but only you will know when you are ready to move on. Godspeed momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:25 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • hugs

    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 8:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • Venting is definitely allowed here. I am sorry. I have not been in your shoes but I am sorry that you are suffering so. Yes you will put it in the past (thought it will never leave you) and you have to to move forward and that takes time. You seem to be doing the right things. Getting counseling and are under a Dr.s care. Your husband needs to ven too and your children need to vent their grief as well. I am really sorry.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:33 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • You are not ready to move on yet and that is OK. You NEED to go through the grief process and you cannot rush it. It takes time and there is no set limit on what you can take. I am so so very sorry and I know nothing we say can make you hurt less, but please know we are all here for you!

    ((hugs)
    saphire_eyes802

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 8:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • so everyone knows im not just trolling these tears ARE real and i dont want another person messaging me saying im trolling :( and ignore how shitty i look right now

    mamide02ninas

    Comment by mamide02ninas (original poster) at 8:49 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I'm so sorry for our loss. I'm glad you are getting counseling to help you through this. Just remember that everyone grieves in their own way. If venting here helps then vent all you want or need.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:49 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I'm so sorry. I'm not sure why anyone would bash you. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling depressed, I think it's normal.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter :(
    I have not lost one of my own, but my mother lost 2. One of them was born in a really really bad way (health wise) and he only lived a month or two. I know it took a long time for her to heal from that. Take things one day at a time, this will get better - eventually. Take care of yourself

    *hugs*
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:18 PM on Feb. 27, 2013

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