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2 Bumps

Feeling immense unbearable pain, please help. How do you feel better?

My husband left me, now I am in bed everyday 90% of the time, I feel like dying at moments. He was my everything, my family, my friend, my life. I have no one else. When will I feel better? How do I feel better? What if this feeling never goes away? The worst thing is he doesn't say I never want to be with you, he says I don't know, then he said ok let's work it out, then he said I still don't know if I want to be with you. I think I would wait forever.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Feb. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You need to get off you butt and be strong for your child(ren). Don't wait for him and don't worry about him. Try to find other things to make yourself happy. Start working on you and your children and forget about him.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:32 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • It's time to learn how to love yourself enough to not need his love. He can't decide. Take the power you have and focus on YOU and your qualities. Get into counseling to help you how to realize your strengths and how to appreciate you for you.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:46 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • I think it's quite possible that your neediness and total dependency upon your husband may be the reason he ran out. That's a lot of responsibility to put on another human being. I think it would be a really good idea for you to talk to someone who is experienced in marriage and to get some help to discover why you are not able to function as an independent adult woman. There's a root somewhere that has caused this, and it needs to be dug out and gotten rid of. I am not justifying your husband's leaving, but I do know that when some people are faced with something with which they have no idea how to handle, all they know to do is to run away from it. Even if this isn't the reason he left you, you still need to know the answer to why you are so dependent and needy. So use this time to your advantage and find out. It just might save your marriage in the process.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:53 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • i agree with the other ladies. you are too dependent on him. focus on your children and moving on.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • Get up and move on. he has....
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:59 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • I think this is the time to focus on who you are. It sounds to me like you consider yourself to be nothing without him and that's just wrong.
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 10:03 AM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • It hurts like a bitch, been there done that, but the first thing that will make you feel better is to cut the rope and let the anchor go. As in, this man is dragging you down. Don't let him string you along. End it and build your own life.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:40 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:45 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • It will take time is all I can say. No amount of words will make the pain disappear instantly. However, there are some things you can try to do to *distract* yourself from the pain. Join a new hobby club, make new friends, read self-help books, listen to uplifting music, pamper yourself, go window shopping, try new crafts or recipes at home, get a new haircut, etc. You lost piece of you when he left, so doesn't it make sense to find a new part of you to fill that void? It sounds like he's wishy-washy. You can't waste time on someone like that. Decide that your life will go on no matter what while he is figuring out what he wants. Besides, wouldn't you think he would more likely come back to someone who's vibrant and strong? That's appealing to men. It's an ego-boost for them when you crumble when they leave. Instead, when you show you're still going strong, it makes him curious about you. Just think on that and take care! :-)
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 8:32 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • Counseling will help you to be able to function on your own. As Anne said, never make someone a priority when you're just an option. I'll take it further... never live only for the sake of someone else. A mate should enhance your life, yes... but you should be able to live your life quite well without one too.

    What you're describing right now is depression. It's not something that gets better without help. So pick up the phone, call a clergyman, call your insurance to find out about counseling.

    DO NOT take your husband back without counseling!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:17 AM on Mar. 1, 2013

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