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3 Bumps

Need to vent..

I don't know where to start. I have so much going on in my life and no one to really talk to. Im a single mom of 3. I never saw my life like this. Every girl dreams of growing up and have a great family. I some how ended up with crap. Love my kids other then that theres nothing good. Im 25 years old. Ive always said i wanted to be married at 25 and start having kids at 26. So thats not going to happen. My first two kids are with a man whom doesnt take care of them. He says im the reason he doesnt see them. Ive offered but he would always come up with a reason not to see them. Not a problem. My child dont need them to be in their life they have uncles and grandpa to look up to. The problem? He is over 9,000 behind on child support. That is only for one child. (yes ive called and reported it). Child support enforcement doesnt do anything. Now i have an 8 month old. Wheres his dad? Jail. He decided he wanted to do something dumb and got cought. Maybe he will learn his lesson. I highly doubt it. So here i am with 3 kids and no income or help from their fathers. Would be nice if their family would offer to help or hell would offer to see them. Of course not. I have called their grandparents to see if they would like to see their grand children. Guess what? they say yes. But actions speak louder then words. No one makes the effort but me, and thats apparently not doing enough. I give up on trying. I struggle to make sure my children have. i make 7.25 an hour and dont get 40 hours a week. Im just getting depressed being alone all the time and struggling. I cant get another job, because then i dont have a baby sitter. My mom watches the kids now. But i have a hard time even paying her. My life consists of working and dealing with the kid. There is no middle for me. I never get time to myself. I would like just ONE day of sleeping in. A day to hang out with a friend. Just something. I dont ever ask for much. But the lil bit i do want i never get. The father of my last promises so much when he gets out. I dont believe him. I know it will never be what i want.. Im starting to think ill never find a decent man. A man that wants a woman with 3 small children. Im just so alone and getting more and more depressed as the days go by. I dont know what to do any more. I cry every night. I know thats not healthy but i just cant help it. How can a single stuggling mom be happy?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Feb. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You need a long term plan. Minimum wage isn't going to cut it. You need to figure out a way to go back to school for something with a better future. Grants and loans will help with cost.
    Learn to be happy on your own, don't stay with your husband if he's not right. When I left my ex I had 3 kids and never planned on remarrying. But I found my husband and he is wonderful!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • As a single mother of three children (now grown) I can assure you it can get better. My ex is STILL behind in CS and the court is just now making him pay so I struggled financially for a long time. I had to take advantage of whatever help I could (section 8 for housing, FS to feed them, medicaid so they had insurance, day care help for when they were young, financial aid to finally get an education). Please hang in there. You can do this.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:54 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • ^^ what she said.
    i was in a more stable place financially when i was going to school, utilizing public assistance, and working 20 hours on campus.
    it really gave me and the kids the breathing room we needed for me to get my affairs in order and become a person they could financially rely on no matter my marital status

    and stop trying to accommodate the people who dont put in the effort. derh! theyre assholes.
    as to the jailbird. for pete's sake! move on. he has proven that he doesn't care abut the kid

    and yes dear there a plenty of good men who will take on a woman with kids. i married one and am involved in a (sometimes great, sometimes not so much- but there is a medical reason) long term committed relationship with another
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:07 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • Try and pick up some skills from the internet. Also try for school financial aid  http://www.scholarships.com/financial-aid/college-scholarships/scholarships-by-type/college-scholarships-and-grants-for-single-mothers/   also time stay away from past and future guys for now , You can do it.

    sunshine196

    Answer by sunshine196 at 10:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2013

  • I agree with the others about a long term plan. But I also think some baby steps might be in order for you in the short term. No matter how crazy your day is, do one tiny thing for yourself, even if it's just stopping to enjoy a few sips of coffee, or locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes to breathe, or cranking up your favorite radio station in the car. Get in the habit of being kind to yourself. It will do a whole lot to ease depression and make the daily grind not seem so overwhelming. If you refuel yourself in simple ways, you'll have more to give your kids.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:07 AM on Mar. 1, 2013

  • I think you would feel less vulnerable if you got some good job skills like medical records specialist. It pays very well 25 an hr. good luck.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 3:05 PM on Mar. 1, 2013

  • See if you can live with your family again to save up money for going to school full-time. You should be able to get some loans and grants to go to school and pay a little rent and not have to work at all during your school years. I recommend online schools so that you can stay home and care for the kids at the same time & not have to pay for as much gas. Or, another option is to go to regular or hybrid school (half online, half on-campus), where you can apply for Federal Work Study financial aid. You get paid on average about $10-15/hour to work at the school or with a charity. That way you can keep your job experience current, get paid a little more (which may increase your pay for future jobs), gain work experience in a new field (office administration for example) and finally move in the right direction.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:18 PM on Mar. 1, 2013

  • hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:21 PM on Mar. 1, 2013

  • Focus on getting the degree first and not working right away or you will always be trying to do both for a very long time. When your education is complete, then you will be ready to accept someone new in your life. It would be wrong to try to meet someone now because he won't be able to spend quality time to get to know the real you. You will be cranky, tired, and too busy with the kids and school. Do things in sequence and it will work out, trust me. I've helped so many other people do this and it's worked out. Who knows, you may even meet that special someone in school, and if he's in school like you, then he gets brownie points for understanding your busy life. If you ever need more advice in this area, just shoot me a message.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:26 PM on Mar. 1, 2013

  •  


           If you get any Government-Aid, the should go after them and garish their wages.


          OR you should be able to get A.F.D.C.


     Please P.M  me and please reminded me who you are, and the "question, and maybe, I can help you ♥♥♥♥♥♥

    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:34 PM on Mar. 2, 2013

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