Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Need help. Opinion about separation/divorce

I am a SAHM of 2 kids, 4 and 2 year old. My Dh has been cheating on me for several years and I just found out that he cheated on me again. I am tired of forgiving and going back to him for the third time. I have NO one, I mean NO family/friends closed by. They are across the ocean. His new job has moved him overseas for One year. Me and the kids are home at this time. Now, my question is what should I do? Since he is gone for a year, should I go ahead and do the paper work for separation? My State requires separation for a year before we file for a divorce since we have little kids. His cheated before and his ex wife left him with 3 kids.
I am helpless, no job, no family and no money. We have this house to live with my kids while he is away. What should I do now?

 

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Mar. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Do you have access to your family bank account? How do you grocery shop? We have a great group here (Untying the Knot) that can help.
    KPBMom

    Answer by KPBMom at 8:47 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Yes, start the paperwork and get help in the group mentioned above. hug
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 9:02 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • start your paper work now. That way when he comes home everything will be ready for divorce.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:06 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • I would start now, so that by the time he comes home, you'll be ready to file and can get on with things. Get a job, start saving your money while you're still living in the current house, so when he comes home, you'll have money to be able to move instead of being stuck sharing the house with him.

    Good luck!
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:12 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • hugs
    you have to go through this
    but
    it is great that he is gone for a year
    no family or friends :(
    but a full year to plan your new life :)

    go to that group, start your new life
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:29 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Is he a good man, good provider, good father otherwise? Is the cheating really a deal breaker? If not, stay and let him provide very well for you and your children. If it is, then go ahead and file but being a single mom isn't great either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • I don't understand. He has been cheating on you for years and you have done Nothing? Call your local community college and get into some kind of job training that pays well and find out if they help you find a job. Medical records pays about 25 an hour and the certification takes about 6 months. Call 211 file for separation, apply for section 8 and call your state Bar Association talk to a family law attorney find out if you can get support during the separation. Good luck.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:21 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • You have a year to figure this out. Don't waste that year putting off your decision. The others have given great advice about what to do.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Since he has a habit of cheating and nothing has been done in the past to help him with this problem, and you have no family or friends to turn t If you have access to the bank account for a year while he is away now is the time to start squirreling away some of the money.

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:56 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Time to stand up on your own. No woman should ever ever ever be dependent upon a man to survive. Teach your children that lesson: Self-sufficiency is the most important lesson you can teach them.

    Start the paperwork. Get a job. Become the most outstanding woman you can be and let him eat his stupid heart out when he sees how fantastic you have become... and he MISSED OUT ON IT.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN