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3 Bumps

Divorce?

I have not been divorced, and my parents were divorced when I was very young and I don't know anyone close who has been divorced.
With that being said, I have seen posts on here that it takes a long time to get divorced, like 2 years. Why is that? I guess I don't understand why it takes so long. Is it normal for it to be a lengthy process? Did the reason for the divorce ei: adultury, abuse, just dont want to be together etc. have anything to do with the length?

 
cassie_kellison

Asked by cassie_kellison at 3:35 PM on Mar. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Level 34 (64,873 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Having kids makes it harder. You first need to get both parties to agree to everything. Then file it. Here in Utah there are 3 classes you are required to take as well as medication aka counseling trying to keep you together. After all classes have been done and papers have been filled the divorce will be final 90 days afterward. BUT that's only if no lawyers are involved and both parties agree to all terms of the divorce.
    If there is fighting it can draw out for many years. It all depends on the state you live in too.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • If it's straight forward - no kids, no joint possessions, no money battle - and both parties agree it's 30-90 days after you file. There is always that "cooling off period"
    If there is a battle over kids, possessions, money or both parties don't consent, it's much longer and if lawyers get involved it can really take a while.
    It took 6 months before my ex would agree to sign the papers. It took a year after that before he finally signed the papers (I had already moved out of state) and 30days after he filed his paperwork I flew back, appeared before a judge who asked, "do you want this" to both parties. He said yes, I said yes and the judge signed and that was it.
    It's simple until one or both parties gets in the way
    daylily888

    Answer by daylily888 at 3:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • In my state divorces can be as quick as 60 days, mine, however, took 8.5 months and ended up costing me over $14,000. I have no idea what my ex was charged. The simple truth is that they take long because people don't agree. Or, 1 or both of the spouses can no longer afford their attorney's fees so, it comes to a halt (due to the attorney's refusing to work til they are paid).
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 6:57 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • I've been separated for 2+ years simply because we easily came to an everyday arrangement about custody, visitation and money. Our older kids were having separate struggles so we wanted to co-parent well and not be angry about the divorce while our kids needed us. Now that the dust has settled, we're ready to move forward.
    KPBMom

    Answer by KPBMom at 7:18 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Depends on the state. Due to our financial situation it took almost two years. We had a lot to divide.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:24 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Some states have a cooling off period before they will finalize the divorce.
    It is really not the divorce itself that causes the holdup. It is the division of proerty an custody/child support issues that usualy dealy the finalization of the divorce.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Here in Colorado, with no kids and no assets to speak of, the whole thing only took six months. We didn't even appear in court, just signed the papers and faxed them, then got the decrees back.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • Depends on the people who are divorcing. If they can not agree about their stuff. And the kids. It takes linger to divorce.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:19 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • I think a lot of it is just arguing over things. My ex and I were legally divorced 2.5 months after I filed. He was in jail at the time, so there were no arguments over custody or stuff or anything like that. But when people don't agree, and argue over custody, who gets the house, the car, etc. - it takes longer.

    And some states do have waiting periods or require legal separations, etc.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:22 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

  • My ex disagreed with everything, so it took 2 years.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 4:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2013

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