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6 Bumps

He's just not that into you...what should i do?

my husband & I have been having issues. he said he will plan a weekend away for just the two of us to reconnect. well, a couple weeks have passed and nothing has been planned. how long do i keep harping on him to make these plans? i feel like an idiot. i told him if he didn't want to work on the marriage to just tell me so i can move on but he says he wants to work on it.

no, he doesn't want me to plan the date away - he said he'd do it. but this is getting nuts. this morning i sent him a text about how excited i was to see where we are going but i have received no response as of yet.

how long do i keep reminding him before i just give up?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Don't remind him. Find ways you can work on your marriage where you are at. The pressure of planning a big weekend away when you two are having problems may be more than your husband an deal with. Let him do it when he does it, if he does, and in the meantime, work on communication at home. I know how it feels to be put off on something that is important to you, believe me, we all do. But harping on him about this will nly make things worse.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:47 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I agree with Ballad

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:49 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • The thing about going away to reconnect is that you fall right back into the old habits once you return. You don't need to go away to reconnect. Find ways to do it at home. Once the kids are sleeping, spend some time together without the tv on. Run errands together. Go for a walk, just the two of you if possible. Find new ways to show each other how much you mean to each other.

    Answer by hootie826 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • It takes two to make a marriage work. I think you need to try things regardless of him saying not too.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I think you should plan alone time at home take care to make it special time where you can remember what you have together and make a point to thank each other for everything. Also now is the time for you to sit down and figure out how your going to save your relationship restart your passions by doing things for each other it does not have to be big just something from your heart.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • the going away together is something we need. we never ever just spend time together. i have been doing things he likes on weekends like sitting in the dirt all day with motorcross. not fun yet i do it. i have completely changed my attitude on things like his pot use & his spending. i have given up trying to control these things. all i want is more time & affection.

    this last weekend we were supposed to take about an hour drive to drop something off. i thought it would be great to have the time together and maybe grab lunch - just the 2 of us. well, that morning comes and he backs out saying he doesn;t feel like making the drive. so instead i spent the whole day with my son which is great but I ALWAYS spend time with him. I NEED time with my husband.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Are you interested in reconnecting with your husband or simply a weekend wihere you get to go on a trip without kids and pretend you're not an adult?
    A weekend away is not needed to reconnect with your spouse. Like someone else said, go for a walk, watch a movie together, spend time cooking dinner together. Have a family game night. Stay up late just chatting. etc. There are a million things you can do for free and at home to reconnect with your spouse. A trip or weekend away is not needed and in fact just wastes money ( and disputes over money is one of the leading causes of stres in a marraige).

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:07 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • lol, yes Kristi, i want to pretend i'm not an adult. you nailed it. *eyeroll*

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Well when you're nagging him about taking a trip you don't have the money to spend on due to his pot use and spending habits....

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:14 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • No, going away is something you think will make your husband pay attention to you. That seems to be the real problem here. But like I said earlier, what is going to change once you come home? You need to work on the problem where it is - at home. Changing locations isn't going to make things better, it's just going to let you avoid your problems for a little while without really resolving anything.

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:19 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

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