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How to tell him to move out

I have a 20 year old step son who's mother pasted away about 10 months ago.I have made every attempt to have a realtionship with him. The only time I see him is in passing. He comes to the house when I am at work and leaves before I get home. In the past month he has only stayed at the house maybe once or twice. He says he stays with his Bio father and friends. He's drinking, smoking weed and doing all he can do. His mother family say they are worried about him but none has offered him to stay with him, they just want to find fault in everything I do. I am trying to keep a good realtionship with them but it's getting sticky. It's time for me to move on with my life. How do I tell him to move out?

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HELP89

Asked by HELP89 at 1:53 PM on Mar. 5, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Well, that's not really your job, it's his father's. Is that what he wants too?
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 1:56 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • so his bio father isn't leaving with you either?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I'm a little confused. Are you and his father divorced?
    KPBMom

    Answer by KPBMom at 1:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Have you set up house rules with him? Talked about what you expect, what you'll allow and what you won't?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • If you and his bio father aren't even together tell him he has 30 days t find a new place to live (in writing, make multiple copies)
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • 20? Pack his things and set them outside. No explanation needed. IMO, 20 year olds need a job and their own place to stay, unless they are in school full time.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 2:01 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Mother's dead, he lives with his father, WHO are you again?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:03 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • How does he get in your home when you are not there?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:04 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I think it would be pretty crummy of you to do this now of all times, have some mercy he is still grieving....
    older

    Answer by older at 2:04 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Sit down and talk with him. He may be greiving but he's also breaking the law with the weed which could come back and hurt you.

    Let him know you love and care for him but it's time for him to decide what he wants to do in life. Then give him 30 days and try and help him get set up in an apartment of his own or with friends.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:20 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

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