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My 11 year old daughter still pees her pants. We have ruled out medical problems. She just doesn't want to use the bathroom if she's having fun and ends up peeing herself.

She is in counseling (has been for 2+ yrs) and has ADHD as well as PTSD (we adopted her from state custody.  my sister is her birth mother).  She knows she has to pee.  She even says herself that she just doesn't want to go use the bathroom since she is having so much fun.  She doesn't do it here at home.  She does it at her friends homes, her grandparents or school.  I have asked the parents & teachers, as well as her grandparents,  to remind her to pee every 45 minutes to an hour.  She consciously makes the decision not to go to the bathroom.  

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Asked by suddenlyamom at 2:59 PM on Mar. 5, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Time to reminds her to go. Like potty training. Please do not put pull ups on her. I think it will do her some good to be embarrassed by her peeing on herself in front of her friends.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:03 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • So then take away her "fun" things until she behaves properly.
    If she is so wrapped up in a video game that she can't use the bathroom, then she gets no video games.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:08 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • If it's truly out of laziness there needs to be consequences when she does it.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:08 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Counseling is needed for an 11 year old that is doing this. It is not normal for a girl her age toact this way and to be so unconcerned.
    IMO there is something going on that she needs to work through.
    My suggestion is to limit liquids and her fun. You will have to call a stop every 45 to an hour and make her come in and go to the bathroom. Is she pees herself playtime is over for the day and find her some chores to do.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:11 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Like full on emptying her bladder in her pants or a few drops?
    Have you had her tested for delays? Mental issues?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:12 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I have an 11 year old step son who still pees his pants, but it's only at night. I would say if she's doing it when she's wide awake, there has to be some kind of mental issue going on there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • I'm skeptical that there is no health issue (physical or emotional) here at all. I would suggest you find a new pediatrician immediately. Children her age are beginning to take note of how their peers view them and this must be terribly embarrassing for her.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 3:37 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

  • Has she had a bladder study done? Some kids honestly can't feel the signal that tells them when they have to go; it's a neurological thing, and often runs in families. It's hard to imagine a girl of that age who would truly be so wrapped up in anything that she wouldn't want to stop and use the bathroom, if it meant wetting herself.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:09 PM on Mar. 5, 2013

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