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So here in a few short weeks I am due to give birth. My husband and I are fighting about whether I should breastfeed or not. I just do not think I would be comfortable doing it and he is trying to guilt me into doing it. Do not get me wrong I looooove my husband more than anything...but I think he is being controlling over this situation. I already said I would be willing to try and if I feel okay I will just breastfeed if not I will formula feed my child. He is in the military and this pregnancy was a suprise so he has been in and out for the past few months. I just don't get why he is acting this way my feelings are beyond hurt cause we never fight about anything no lie and I am sitting here in tears cause I feel bad. Should I give in or do what I feel comfortable doing?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Feb. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (19)
  • You do what you feel comfortable doing no matter what anyone tells you. Like you said, you can try and if it doesn't work out it doesn't.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I am a breastfeeding advocate, but I would never tell someone to do something they weren't comfortable doing. I think a lot of men's feelings on the subject go overlooked, and maybe that is what your husband is worried about, that he is not being heard. I think it is a great idea to at least try it, you may love it, but if you are uncomfortable with it you shouldn't be forced.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • He want's what is BEST for your child!

    And breast milk is 100% perfect absolute best best best custom made nutrition for your baby!!!

    Answer by MamaK88 at 10:13 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I nursed my baby from day one until she turned 14 months old, just a few weeks ago. Reason is I'm pregnant and due to have a baby in 3 months and I needed a break before I start breastfeeding my son. Anyway, your husband is right for telling you he wants you to breastfeed. It's FREE and HEALTHY! You can try it and if after the first month, it's not for you, then go to formula. I will just say it was very painful for me, the first 16 days. My baby did latch on properly and was sucking very strongly. I"m very sensitive to pain. I would cry, bite on a pillow while nursing her...and she was on the boob for about 45 minutes with a 15 minute break in between, all day long the first month. It was very hard, I felt like a boob machine. It was sad but as it eased up, it was better for me. Plus, have you ever tasted formula, yuck! It's ashame babies have to drink something that tastes so gross. Ultimately, it is up to you!

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 10:18 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I love that you are willing to try it. I really believe that all moms should at least try it (barring medical reasons). I think you need to ask your hubby why he is so adamant about you bf'ing. Maybe if you knew more about why he feels the way he does you'd be better able to understand his strong stance on it. Obviously he feels quite strongly that you should bf, but now you need to find out why. Get to the bottom of it, maybe his reasons will convince you to really put your best efforts into it. And also explain to him that he is coming across as controlling and how that makes you feel, especially in regards to the bf'ing. In the end it is your body, your breasts and if, for what ever reason, you are not comfortable then you shouldn't be made to feel bad about formula feeding. As much as I believe that all moms should try bf'ing, I also believe that a happy mom makes a happy baby, no matter how baby is fed.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 10:25 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • Do what's right for you. Yes, breast milk is best for the baby, but having a relaxed, happier mama is even better. I tried to breastfeed my oldest, but she didn't want anything to do with it. She's almost 6, and she is amazingly intelligent and healthier than my son, who I did breastfeed. She's been on antibiotics ONCE in her life and has never had an ear infection. Obviously, formula didn't hurt her at all.

    Be sensitive to your husband's feelings because the baby is his, too, but ultimately, it's a big sacrifice that you have to be comfortable with. Is it worth it? Yes. But it's not the end of the world if you don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • You have to do what's right for you. Rather than focusing on the fighting, about taking a look at what is making you uncomfortable? There are so many presumptions moms make, and maybe hashing that out can ease your mind.

    You're welcome to stop by the breastfeeding moms group for help. Or if you're not comfortable doing that, feel free to message me.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:32 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • Ultimately YOU are the mother, so do what you feel comfortable with. Don't let anyone, your husband or anyone on here, guilt you into breastfeeding if you don't want to. I did not breastfeed, I was not comfortable with it and my son is almost 4 now and healthy as a horse. I think its great if you want to try, and great if you decide you want to continue, but just make up your OWN mind, don't let anyone else do it for you.

    Answer by Amberfire82 at 11:04 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • Probably because he realizes that breastfeeding is the best choice.

    I don't think you should be fighting about it, and ultimitely you will make a choice you are comfortable with. If you do it. and don't want to it will be miserable for you and the baby. :(

    You need to do some soul searching as to why the idea is uncomfortable though.. humans are meant to breastfeed.. there is nothing to be ashamed of in feeding your child the way mammals are meant to!!

    Have you considered exclusively pumping? If the act of breastfeeding is what's uncomfortable you can pump and bottle feed!

    Answer by celticreverie at 11:15 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • BRAVO mama! You have a smart and caring husband who supports you feeding your baby the very best food a baby can have! A lot of times its the other way around and men are pressuring moms NOT to breastfeed for very selfish reasons many times too, but your man is NOT that way and you should be very happy and proud of that!

    Breastfeeding is such a wonderful gift to give your baby mama, its SO very good for them, I hope you will reconsider whatever it is about breastfeeding that bothers you and look deep within yourself and ask yourself if your willing to do whats truly best for your baby....I hope that you are!

    Good luck! Check out for lots of info on breastfeeding!

    Answer by jlizgar at 11:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

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