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2 Bumps

Is your happiness directly related to your marriage?

i feel very depressed lately. we are having troubles. if he responds to my texts or emails positively I am happy. if he ignores my calls, texts, emails then I am very down and depressed.

i believe i need to see a doc for meds but i don't like medicating myself. i would prefer our marriage to get better instead of popping pills.

is it normal to base my day's mood around how my husband is treating me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Mar. 6, 2013 in Health

Answers (13)
  • No. Not normal. You should feel good about yourself based on how YOUR day is, NOT HIS.
    Take pride in your own accomplishments.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:02 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • Yeah,because he's only one of 2 people that truly makes me happy.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:05 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • If you're having problems in your marriage, and you're also depressed, it makes sense that your mood would shift depending on how he's treating you. When you're depressed, it's pretty hard to be happy, so you'll cling to any little thing that even hints at making you happy. And when you're already feeling down, getting treated poorly by someone you care about who is supposed to care about you, makes you feel even worse.

    As far as seeing a doctor: you need to ask yourself if you feel you're depressed in general, or if you feel depressed solely because of the problems in your marriage. If it's solely because of the problems, then marriage counseling would be the best help. But if you think you're depressed in general, then seeing a doctor might be beneficial. They may not need to medicate you: they may recommend therapy, or determine it's a vitamin deficiency or something like that.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:07 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • No, my moods are not directly related to my marriage at all. I am too busy to think like that. I've been married 20 years & honestly never felt that way. I cherish my alone time as mush as the time we do have together. My DH works 7 days a week too. He doesn't call me all day sometimes & I don't even think about it. He takes really good care of us all & that is what is most omportant. I do the same for him. If he's in a mood I will be there if he wants to talk about it otherwise he better get a grip on it. I never stood for that crap. You NEED a hobby or a job. If you have enough time to dote on issues when there really isn't one then you are not using your time efficiently. Find something to do that you like. Volunteer, yoga, get a part time job if you have kids etc. It's ALL about self esteem. You are lacking in that area & if you fill that void then everything will be OK. Instead of medicating get up & get busy. GL

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:13 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • mush = much (sp) LOL!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:15 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • I think we all need things OUTSIDE our marriages to love and make us happy- as well as having things to do on our own that do also.
    If you are relying on someone else to make you happy- or letting them bring you down, that's a bad thing

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 12:16 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • Well, I don't think it would be considered "normal" if you were completely happy if your marriage is in trouble. A happy marriage is very important & will weigh heavily on you if things are not going well. I think you need to talk to him about going to marriage counseling so you can improve on what's wrong. This little link might help a little too. GL!



    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • Normal, probably. Productive, definitely not. I think anybody's mood might shift to some extent based on how she feels she's being treated. But finding other ways to lift your mood--music you like, dressing a little extra nicely even if you don't need to, accomplishing something important to you--might help you take the responsibility back for yourself, instead of relying on your husband to set the tone for your day, which doesn't always seem to be positive.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:49 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • Only in a few ways, like when I'm having a bad day and he does something sweet to cheer me up. Or when I get sweet emails or notes from him, it brightens my day.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:51 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

  • Since my hubby and I are a unit as well as seperate people, some of my happiness is related to him and his well being. That is normal. If I could not be happy unless he was happy or had given me approval, I would re evaluate myself and find other ways to build my own selfworth,without losing the bond with him.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:12 PM on Mar. 6, 2013

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