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Is having conversation the same as having communication in a relationship you in?

even if you have conversations in relationships and the guy say communication is not there what do it means? the age or? what do they expect for you to talk about

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Talk about feelings,issues,concerns
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:54 AM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • If the conversation is about the relationship, how you're feeling etc, then yes that's communicating.... If it's only about current events, etc then no, that's just something you could talk to anyone about.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:54 AM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • Conversation is communication, but it's not necessarily meaningful communication. Talking about the weather is communication - you're communicating what the weather will be today. But if I'm in a relationship, I don't want a weatherman. I want a boyfriend or a husband - something who will talk with me about more than just the weather or what he heard on the news this morning.

    If he's telling you communication is not there, he's saying the conversations you're having are not meaningful. You can try asking him what he means, or to give you an example of what he considers to be communication.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:10 AM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • *Someone who will talk with me, not something.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:10 AM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • Communication implies both parties are engaged, actively listening, and speaking in a way the other person can actually hear what they are saying... For example, if Im yelling then my dh might tune me out no matter what I say cuz he doesn't want to be screamed at. If your bf says there's no communication, then I would think there is some type of barrier that is keeping one or both of you from actively listening. Maybe he hates the subject matter, so he tunes you out. Or maybe your delivery is too loud, too shrill, too_______, and he is tired of that.
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 11:15 AM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • he just told me im not on his level...idk what that means
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • It's an insult.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:12 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • You can have conversations about anything! The weather, what's for dinner, the football game on TV, but if you're not communicating about the things happening in your relationship (emotions, thoughts, how you feel about each other, and the things effecting you in your lives), the relationship is doomed to fail.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:23 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • "he just told me im not on his level...idk what that means"

    It means he's insulting you. He's saying he's smart, and you're not - or at least, you're not as smart as he is. For me, that's grounds to end the relationship. I wouldn't be with someone who thinks he's better than me.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:44 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • It sounds like he's trying to tell you why things aren't working, or why the relationship isn't working out. He's talking about communicating--being heard, being understood. Something reciprocal, or two-way. A sense that you are comprehended, that the person not only "hears" you, she GETS IT. Gets what you are saying, and gets YOU.
    I think he is telling you that he feels like the two of you are on different wavelengths.

    I don't think it's just about content, such as talking about relationship or feelings versus "the weather" or daily events. You can connect when you're talking about life--daily experiences, work, (other) interpersonal relationships (talking about family members, friends, politicians, co-workers, various dynamics), future plans, decisions, frustrations, concerns. A person could be talking about a frustration from the day--an annoyance at work, something that happened in traffic--and could feel "heard." Or not.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:54 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

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