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Step mothers/haircut

I cut my daughters hair a couple of days ago. It was absolutly adorable, everyone loved the cut on her. The father gets visitation very 3 weekends and I get the 4th. I am the primary parent but have joint custody. When my daughter was visiting this weekend the stepmother decided she didn't like my daughters hair and told her how bad it looked. She took her to a beauty shop where she had all her hair cut off. The father stated he gave her permission to do this. I have tried my best not to lose my cool. My daughter cried the whole time because the stepmother cut all her hair off. This is not right and I need answers on what I can do?

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Asked by butterfly390 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • I am not sure if there is anything that you can do. Other than let the step mom know how disappointed you are in her choice. Lay it on real thick too.
    Be sure not to let your daughter be a pawn in this unfortunate situation.

    Answer by afdavis27 at 12:36 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think it's one thing if your daughter really NEEDED a haircut and gave it to her because you didn't (my SS used to come to us with it hanging in his eyes - poor kid couldn't see!), but for her to do it, right after you got it cut because "she didn't like it" is another. I don't know if you can necessarily can blame her if your ex okayed it though - any problem you have with it should be with him. The best you can do is talk to him and hope he listens next time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Well you got her hair cut without his permission why not him allow his daughters hair to be cut. Your daughter may like her new hair but is crying out of loyalty to you. I would sit down with both your ex and the step mom and discuss this in a calm and adult manner. You all need to agree to make joint decisions so this does not happen again. If you all cannot grow up and do this go to court I guess the judge will have a mediator help you all behave like adults.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • For one the father gets told everything about what goes on with his daughter. I feel it is not right that just because the step mom does not like the haircut that it should be redone within a couple days. She cut ALL her hair off. Of course the dad is going to up hold what she does because he has to live with the stepmon. As far as being adults, it takes a real adult not to slap the crap out of the step mom for over steping bounderies. This is only one insident that has happened. The stepmom was already mad because she was not allowed to sit in on a partent teacher meeting and took it out on my child. My child also had a gold ring on that same weekend that she cut off because she states it was to tight. This is very vingful. We have been to a mediator 3 times now and the father will not sit in a room without the stepmom present. So how do tou solve a disput?

    Answer by butterfly390 at 6:06 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • If your going to give a opinion that is very negative then please put your self in the mothers shoes, get the whole story before one judges.

    Answer by butterfly390 at 6:09 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Personally, I would talk to my lawyer. There are provisions that can be put into your custody agreement that would clear these problems up. She really doesn't have the right to do what she did to your child. No matter how she feels toward you.

    If mediation doesn't work, and she is continually hostile to your daughter (that is what this is), then you should get in with a lawyer and talk to them about giving you full physical custody. This means that if she were to do something like this in the future, you would have more rights. You can have equal visitation and still have full custody. I would fight that battle if the situation were severe enough...

    Answer by yakara77 at 7:11 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I would slap her, she should have talked to you first. Just because she didn't like the haircut doesn't mean she has the right to get it changed.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:27 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

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