Just after Thanksgiving I had a bomb dropped on me...I was informed my dad wasn't my bio dad. I had absolutely no clue. I am 33 years old and could have died never knowing any different. I had such a swarm of emotions come over me, everything I'd ever known or was raised to know wasn't so, I was so confused and still am. Then, to make things worse, before I picked up the phone to talk to my dad, he was killed in a tragic accident. I was never able to thank him for being so amazing, for never treating me any different than my brothers who were his biologically...for showing me what real love really is. My heart is broken in so many ways. Now my mom is pressuring me to find my bio dad so I can meet him and I just don't know how to. I do think I have found him, at least contact info but I'm just not ready and honestly don't even know what to say when I do. I feel I had a full life with 2 parents that loved me very much and now I find out there is this whole other person out there that I'm told I'm just like...how is that so? I'm lost and just don't know what to do or even how to do it. I'm told he loved me and came by my grandmother's house several times a year to check on me after I was born for the first 5 years of my life. He just wasn't ready for a baby when my mom found out. My dad who raised me was her best friend and offered to marry her but said he wanted me to be his, he didn't want another man coming and going from my life and hurting me. Any suggestions on how I should handle this? How do I contact him after all this time?
Answer by older at 5:14 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by 2autisticsmom at 5:16 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 5:30 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 5:50 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
I'm sorry, I think it's wrong to keep secrets, it does more damage in the long run. I never understood the idea of telling the truth about a childs biology when they are grown. however, try to put yourself in your parents position. It was a different time and they did what they thought was best at the time. In hind sight they may have done things differently too.
Your dad didn't need to be thanked. He was your dad simply because he loved you.
Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:51 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 6:21 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:38 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 6:59 PM on Mar. 7, 2013
Answer by booklover545 at 7:03 PM on Mar. 7, 2013