Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Unrealistic demands on a relationship.

How perfect do you expect your significant other to be? Do you feel you place any unrelistic demands on them?

I feel the longer im with my dh the more I realize how much of a pain in the butt I was when I was younger. I think as we grow together I'm less extreme and a lot of that had to do with how other would perceive us. Now I just don't care lol and I wanted love out of a romance novel which was very unfair to him because he gives his love in a different way now I appreciate it and know he's showing his love in this way.

I see my friends who are just now starting marriages and I see things they do that I use to and think what was I thinking. My dh is laid back whatever you want with me and I'm finally getting there with him.

Now my sil feels faithfulness is an unrealistic demand on a couple, and while it may be a challenge that's one thing I won't budge on.

So do you feel you give your SO any unrelistic demands?

Answer Question

Asked by skinnyslokita at 5:47 PM on Mar. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm not currently in a relationship, but I don't feel I have ever made any truly unrealistic demands. I have come to realize the demands I had were unrealistic for those particular men, but not in general. Things like faithfulness, respect, honesty, etc.

    I don't think expecting fidelity is unreasonable or unrealistic. I know there are plenty of people who have open relationships, so at this point, I think discussing your expectations in that regard is important early in dating, so that if you want a monogamous relationship and the other person doesn't, you won't waste time trying to change each other. But it's perfectly normal and reasonable to expect fidelity from your partner if that's what you both agreed you were signing up for.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:56 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • I don't think my boyfriend and I make unrealistic demands of each other, but sometimes we want different things because we're twelve years apart, and at different places in our lives.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:09 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • I don't think I make unrealistic demands of DH, but there have been moments when I've had to rethink what is truly important and what is not.
    I know that I have things I can't budge on, but he's never tested or disappointed in those areas.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 6:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • One thing my DH does. That drives me crazy. I try to demand and it really does not work. Is he is a spender. Sometimes spends to much. I guess you can call that a demand to change.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:56 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • Ummm, not married but no, I don't think I or he had unrealistic expectations.

    Answer by booklover545 at 6:56 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • I am single but if I am going to man up so should the person I am with.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:17 PM on Mar. 7, 2013

  • Men are not naturally monogamous. I get that. I don't expect much from them anymore. Maybe by the time I decide to get in another relationship I might change my mind but for now, I just don't expect much from them. As long as they don't insult my intelligence with some stupid lie, I just accept them as they are.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 AM on Mar. 8, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.