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whats the pros and cons of having two different dads?

im worried. i need some advice. my daughter is 7 months old and her real father wants to be apart of her life but i dont think he deserves it. what are the pros and cons of the relationships when she grows up?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Just because you dont think he derserves it doesnt mean that he isnt the father, he has just as many rights as you do. Maybe you shouldnt have had a baby with a man you didnt feel was worthy to father a child! BTW my brother went through this, except he had a dad that didnt want to be a part of his life, let him be there if he wants to be. explaing it later is going to hurt her more then her finding out on her own how is he, or how you think he is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • cons- very confusing for the child having 2 fathers, the non-bio dad probably won't treat her as good as he would his own children, she's more likely to become sexually active at a younger age when coming from a broken home, etc etc etc
    pros- I can't imagine what anyone could come up with for that
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • *explaining
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • MicahsMom612-You can't imagine there being any pros to having the childs real father in her life? C'mon on!
    She deserves to know both sides of her family. Down the road she might need medical family history and how are you going to tell her that she can't ask her "dad" as she knows it bc its irrelevant to her. You shouldn't be selfish and keep her from her father bc it will end up ruining the relationship she has with you. If he is unworthy like you believe he will prove that to her himself and you won't be to blame for their relationship.
    albills

    Answer by albills at 11:54 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

  • I wasn't saying there's no pro to having her father in her life, I think a child's mother and father should be who raise a child, without the addition of step-parents.
    She needs her dad to be a part of her life.
    The question was what are the pros and cons of having 2 dads. I don't see any pros to that.
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:00 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i have a 3 year old and my husband is great with her she loves her dad she also knows its not her real dad. she does see her real dad all the time i didnt think that her real dad was that geat or that i wanted him in her life. she under stands everything my husband has been there since she was 6 months old and she loves him to death i dont think that i would have it any other way her real dad has changed alot since she was born and now i could not ask for 2 of the best dads we all know times have changed and there are step parents and real parents we just do the best and hope its a geat choice in life i know i made the right choice and i hope you do to.
    jp1129

    Answer by jp1129 at 12:03 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • ia agree with jp1129....
    If the real dad wans to be apart of her life then let him. but if you dont think you should be together bc of the past then why wouldnt the non bio be a good father figure. If he loves her just as much and is willing to be there then i dont see the big deal. As long as you let the real dad get his rights to see her. Which you shouldnt take a way. but If the non bio dad wants that responsibilty then why would you drop him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think It's Great To Have Two Dads

    My 3 Year Old DS Has Two Dads And Neither One Is The Bio Dad But That Is Another Story

    My DS Bio Dad Was A Complete Loser But My Older Kids Father Was Awesome And WANTED To Take On The Responsibility As Dad And Has Since Day 1 Even Though We Were Not Together At The Time (And Haven't Been Since), Then I Met My DF And He Has Become Dad (Has Been For The Last Two And A Half Years) My Son Loves Both Of Them And Its AWESOME!

    Eventually I Will Have To Explain That My DS Actually Has Three Dads But That Will Be Later If And When His Bio Dad Wants To Be A Dad
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 4:16 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't think its your place to decide if he deserves to be a part of this childs life. He is her father and you helped make him the father, so let him at least try to do the right thing. She will resent you later if you don't let her know who she was created by. Every child has a curiosity about where they came from. I would tell him that if he chooses to be a part of it now...then its forever. No skipping out when it gets hard and he must financially support her. Thats the price you pay. One thing that mothers need to understand when they become mothers is that its no longer about you. Its about whats best for your child regardless of your feelings. You might not want him around, but he has a right to be around if hes paying his support. At least give him a chance.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:36 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It's not up to you to decide if he deserves to be part of his child's life, he has the right to be.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:40 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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