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Update to: was i wrong to say something?

original question here

so i asked to see my husband's texts with this woman. he handed the phone over and I was blown away to see the quantity and length. he kept gushing about how hapy he was that she had the dog and she kept gushing about how wonderful he was to train the dog so well etc etc. Then they get into formally introding themselves - at my husband's request i may add. Then my husband tells her "REGARDLESS of my wife I want the dog back if it doesn't work out" - this made me feel terrible. Like he's conspiring w/ a stranger against me. We had to quickly find a home for this particular foster dog because I happened to have a severe allergic reaction to its coat so it HAD to go.

Lastly, and this is what put me over the edge, the woman sent a photo of her snuggling up with the dog to my husband! wtf. Pics of dog = ok. pics of her = WTF.

my husband still insisted there was nothing wrong with what was going on so I immediately texted the woman and told her to CUT IT OUT ASAP.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Mar. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe she was trying to show him that everything is FINE with her and the dog, and it will not be returned to him

    sounds like he's got an issue letting go of the dog...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:55 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • i agree with you. thats how "things" get started.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • since i cannot be sure of everyone's intentions in this situation I needed to nip it in the bud. this woman is essentially a stranger and I am uncomfortable with the budding whatever-it-is between her and my husband. this is the type of situation that can take a turn for the ugly.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • Yea she sounds a little to friendly to me. I would have text her that what my DH said about bringing the dog back to us if it does not work out with you, will not happen. Find a different owner.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:07 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • A decent husband would think to himself,gee this is bothering my wife that I talk to this woman. I'd better stop


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:08 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • nope, butterfly, he didn't say he'd stop until I threatened to text her and tell her to stop. but i wasn't dealing with that - i texted her anyways and told her my feelings on the subject.

    my husband obviously has little regard for my feelings. this type of situation has never come up before though and frankly i was surprised to see how he behaved. makes me wonder how he acts with other woman while i'm not around.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • Just tell him to STOP if he wont tell him to get the fuck out

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:03 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • If you want my honest opinion nothing here would bother me except for one part:
    The part where he straight out says regardless of you he'd take the dog back, allergies and all.
    Trust wise I don't see an issue though. Just the fact he basically disregarded you to her face would bug me.
    Was she pretty or something, are you a jealous type? Or have you had trust issues with him for while..?

    Answer by lullaby572 at 12:14 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • I am with lullaby. I would have a bigger probem with him disregarding your feelings, opinions and health then the fact that he is talking to a female. The picture was probably her attempt to show him that both the dog and her are happy. And, to be honest, it kind of bugs me when women automatically assume "bad" intent on the part of the other female. Why is that? Would you do that? Then why would someone else automatically do it?

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 11:07 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

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