Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Is your husband simply not interested in hanging out with you?

my husband is a faithful hard-working man. he comes home after work, watches tv, goes to bed. weekends he spends mainly with our son or playing videogames or working on the motorcycles. but he never initiates spending time with me. i have brought it up many times but it just doesn't seem to be any type of priority. I had to harass him for 2 weeks to decide what he wanted to do next Saturday with me so we could spend time together. well, he came up with something i would like but he included the kids...i was hoping for alone time but oh well.

i have flat out asked him why the hell he puts me as priority ZERO and he says if that were true he wouldn't work hard & come home every night.

so is that really what my life is with him? i have to be content with him simply coming home? i want/need a husband to be my best friend but apparently he has other ideas.

does anybody else have a husband like this? what do you think this behavior means?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Mar. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • No,my hubby and I are best buds. We spend all of our free time together when he's not working

    Sounds like you're your husband's employee,not his wife.
    i'm so sorry...
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:37 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • No, I agree with your husband. Sometimes, life is not all fun and games. It's hard work and rest. Priorities are that he spend time with the child. He also needs quality time alone. I'm not seeing this "best friend" stuff. Why would you want your husband as your best friend anyway. Go find a girl friend to go shopping with. Men don't want to hang out with you while you shop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • Start doing this. when he is working on his bike. Go out their and site. Playing vidio games. Go in their and sit. Spending time with the son. Go to were ever they are.. See what happens.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:47 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • what should happen, Louise? because i started doing that a few weeks ago. i sat & watched him fix a bike and i also started going to the bike activities w/ him & our child. nothing has changed... i am bored to death at these activities yet i try to partcicpate.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:51 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • How does best friend equal going shopping together anon?
    I don't think she's asking for much to want some time alone with her spouse once in awhile. Maybe she'd like to just feel like a woman versus a mother/wife for a short period of time
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:54 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • It doesn't. She's bored with his activities. So she wants to change him. You can't do that. You knew what he was like when you married him. Now he's working, taking care of the bills, kids, and she still wants excitement? That's not real life. That's what I am saying butterfly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • What do you and your husband have in common? What did you both enjoy doing together before marriage? What kind of family activities does the family do together?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:57 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • yes, butterfly, i do. desperately. i feel like he only wants me around to do domestic things. i am dying inside for him to want to be with me. for him to want to spend time with me. to have fun with me. and i want him to actually want these things - i don't want him to do them because i beg or nag.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:58 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • I dated a guy like this. On his days off,all he wanted to do was hang out at his parent's house and work on cars with his dad and brother. he never wanted to do anything else. I'd suggest going to a movie,going out to eat,amusement parks,zoos,and I got a big fat NOPE
    All he wanted me there for was cleaning the house,cooking for him,and sex
    When I started spending all my spare time with my friends,he got pissed. He wanted me there to wait on him. He didn't give a shit what my interests were.
    I did like you did. Sat there watching him mess with the cars. Oh what fun for me....NOT
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:58 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • anon, you really don't know what you're talking about, but thank you anyway.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 AM on Mar. 9, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.