Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I would like to know where could me and my daughter start fresh. We have had a bumpy life. but who's life is perfect. Im going to turn 20 in April. we really haven't tooken that step to be on our own. only because we live with my parents and the state (IDAHO) we live in.. is pretty much useless. I got blessed with my daughter, by my morals.(marriage) but wasnt really married when he was still married to his first wife. The sperm doner is not in the picture of my daughter's life.. and I DO NOT plan on allowing him to b a part of our lives.
My Parents arn't gettin any younger and They cant support us forever. I dont have any kinda degree under my belt for the simple fact that being a single mom and Government help dont help much.. especially in Idaho. Also for being Hispanic we do get looked down alot beacause we ask for help but dont we all. We all struggle but being young and a HUGE struggle

Answer Question

Asked by Ya-Ya89 at 12:45 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Considering that Colorado is actively recruiting California brain power, that might be the place to go.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:53 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't know where you live in Idaho, but I can tell you that our population is aging, and they will be needing nurses and aides all over the country. If you have even the slightest interest in nursing or pharmacy work, you will likely be able to get a job somewhere (they can't outsource old folks homes to China!) They have certificate programs that take one or two years, and some even offer childcare while you go to school, for anything you might want to study. - as an example. Maybe look to see what is in your area. I think if you can start a little nest egg and get some education for yourself you will feel more confident. Also, I wouldn't feel badly that you are living with your parents. You are giving your daughter stability and support. Get your certificate in whatever field you are interested in and you'll be on your way! Just don't make any more babies until you get married

    Answer by Trixiebelle2 at 1:04 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't know I know any place in Idaho is the biggest shit hole. I live in OR and like the person before me said they are looking for aids and they have programs all over. But in Oregon the state can and will help you get on your own feet. They can give you low income houseing and can help you with other things you will need

    Answer by Everettsmom163 at 1:19 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i'm pretty sure if you check, there is a state program that can help u with housing, foodstamps & wic...i'm sure the whole U.S. of A. has programs like that...we do here...and we're only a territory.

    Answer by JANIKA66 at 1:40 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Utah might be good. My friend @ work is a single mom & the state paid for almost ALL of her schooling, She's going through a Medical Specialties program & at the end not only will she have her Associates but she can be a certified CNA or Medical Assistant or Pharmacy Tech.... It's a pretty big list. And I know the state helps with all her child-care & insurance needs. And it's not to far from home!

    Answer by brighteyesbryar at 4:05 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You can always come to Alabama. The recession hasn't hit us that hard...but the south was so broke to begin with! Seriously though, we're still having issues with unemployement and housing, but part of that is due to urban sprawl. Basically its like a burn, the flames (aka population) move outward towards less populated areas, leaving behind them a trail of bankrupt and dead areas. Places that were once prosperous, now are populated by lower income families, or are just empty, so the shops and stores are suffering and closing. But for right now,t he area I live hasn't been touched by sprawl in 60 years!

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 7:20 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Why don't you look into enrolling in a nursing course or a CNA (certified nursing assistant) course so that you can support yourself and your daughter? You could also look into courses at a community college. The best thing for you at this point would be to get educated. If you move somewhere else and go on assistance there you haven't really changed your circumstances at all. There are many more opportunities for people with education and skills. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think the best thing for you to do is just leave and go to a state that is larger and more culturally diverse such as California as someone else mentioned. The help is there if you need it so there is nothing wrong with asking for it as long as you don't abuse it. If you want to make a better life for you and your daughter then go for it. Make a plan and leave. Be careful, plan it out and work on what area you will go to. Maybe plan a visit there if you can afford it for a few days. Or just up and leave. I want to do that but I am feeling stuck right now. But I am going to leave NY eventually because there is nothing here but bad memories for me and my children. I am single too. Work at home and don't have much of anything. No family, just my kids. The ex boyfriend is going to prison for abuse on me. I just want to start over.

    Good luck to you, mama. I wish you all the best. Keep us posted, please!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • First of all, from my experience, moving some place does not always mean better and if you move far away you lose the free babysitter (if your parents help you with that). I agree with the others, before you move, try to find a degree program, either one online or at an actual place, that you can get quicker than a regular college. It will help you sooo much if you do decide to move out on your own. Other suggestions would be medical billing or transcription, both of which you can work at home. You could also get a AA in child development or early childhood education, which would help you find a decent job working with children. I know times are rough, I've been a single mom too, and it's hard, but if you get along with your parents and they are willing to help you out, try to get yourself a little more ahead before you strike out on your own!

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 10:10 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think what you need to do is stop and think before you jump into taking off to a new state. You won't know anyone there, and it won't be easy. To you now, it's like the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but it really isn't. It's bad everywhere and at least you have your family where you are right now. While you are with your parents, you need to go to school and get a degree of some sort, even if it's only a 2 year thing. Do something that will give you the opportunity to get a decent job and raise your daughter. Flying off looking for the miracle state is gonna land you on your ass. Stay put, go to school and then you can move later.

    Answer by summerdayz at 10:11 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.