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Discipline Issues

My SS is turning 9. DH does not enforce things. It's all about warnings. Example: Stop Swinging that, it's gonna brake. SS keeps swinging, DH repeats. This happens daily when our kids are playing the Wii. If it was my DD I would stop repeating myself and put child in time out so they'd remember not to do action again. Am I wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • nope, you're right. heck thats what i do with my son and hes almost 2. at nine he more than capable of understanding.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 1:02 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • time out is no good for a 9 year old. The Wii gets taken away if she doesn't listen. Bottom line. Kids at that age only need to be told ONCE...I repeat ONCE...after that, it's consequence time. It must be this way or they will NEVER listen to direction. My dd is 8 and this is how I handle her. She screams and cries sometimes but I don't care. She is also a good kid and knows "No" means "No".

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 1:10 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Cool. Thanks!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • My husband and I were just discussing this yesterday. Constantly warning a child and never following through is neglectful in a way. You are teaching them that there are no consequences to their actions and that they do not have to listen to people in authority. I am not trying to be rude or insult your husband. He probably doesn't realize the harm that this can do. You have to have follow through. Sometimes it can be hard because you want to have fun with your child. Most parents don't enjoy punishing or disciplining but it's essential to your child's healthy development. So you are right, put the kid in a time-out already! ;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Thanks Anonymous, my DH was raised in a family which his mom was the "disciplinarian", so being a divorced dad now is rather different for him in the discipline department. I, as the SM, have tried to step in to discipline my SS when he gets out of line, but he seems to have no respect for me, and ignores me, until his dad steps in, and then he listens right away to him. I have asked my DH to take care of this discipline issue and he says ok, but remains rather passive. Don't know what to do. SS listens to dad, not to me. DH not fond of discipline, rather me do it. Seems like a hopeless situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like you and your husband have very different ideas about parenting. I seriously doubt that you will be able to convince him that he needs to change his style any more than I expect that you would be willing to change yours. You will likely have to be content with disciplining your child the way you see fit and watching as he does the same with his son. This will make it necessary for you to explain the difference in expectations to your child. You can also expect that it will lead to some confusion in your household. It is a regrettable situation in which to find oneself and probably could have been avoided had the two of you come to an agreement before the marriage that would have been mutually acceptable to both of you. I think now all you can do is accept that this is how it's going to be.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i can so relate, were not married but we are different in our raising our boys. I too am tired of the warnings but not following thru and they don't know about consequences......but i can't seem to break it off with him.....would you have if you knew about this before?

    Answer by inarutt at 3:46 PM on Mar. 11, 2009

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