Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

18, HS, Bi-polar, disrespectful, BF's son!

BF & I moved in together last Aug his ex dropped his 18 yr son off and ran off. He's been diagnosed as bi-polar BF won't get him on med's cuz he don't believe it. His mood swings match my own menopausal ones. BF is 57 I'm 45 my 18 yr old is also living with us and he's sick of the disrespectful, no manners, gross pig. BF says he just wants to get him through HS. Well that didn't turn out so well! He failed HS and was moved into "adult ed type classes" goes at his own pass, which would be perfect if he went. He skipped school 3 of the 4 days he was supposed to go (Monday was a snow day) we live about 4 blocks from school! I say he should be grounded for 1 week per skipped day. He got NOTHING for skipping. BF just told him don't let it happen again. My son left for a friends house for 2 weeks just to get away from him. We went to the Lake House for a romantic weekend. I mopped the floor Thursday before we left on Friday. We got home Sunday afternoon and there were dirty sticky footprints across my kitchen floor (kitchen is huge takes 2 hours to sweep and properly mop this floor). I was miffed! I said who dirtied my floor. He was supposed to make his son remop it. He didn't the next day I was taking care of something I looked at the wall and there was squished citrus on it! (now I know how the floor got sticky) I showed it to BF he said I'll take care of it... nothing happened, later found another spot below the window, and another by fridge the floor was sticky! I asked his son to mop it got the bucket put cleaner in and he said "why I cleaned and mopped right before you guys got home!" then got into my face and said "how do you know YOU didn't do it!" I said I hadn't even stepped off the mud carpet YET! (this was before I even found the squished citrus. Needless to say BF mopped, cleaned citrus mess up. I've tried everything to help him abide by the rules even going so far as to buy him a whole pizza for cleaning his room (which lasted not even a day). I have a bathroom upstairs that is female friendly (keep toilet seat down) He kept leaving it up. So I got ticked and duct taped it down. BF got mad at me I got mad period. So his son went out and bought a hose and started PEEING out the window. He never holds open doors, burps aloud, blows his nose when your eatting, makes huge mess's and won't clean up. Takes dishes and food upstairs to his room or in basement to media room and hides the dishes! I'm at my wits end esp when my children say "YOU never would have let us get away with that" What can I do BF won't make him mind. He just cleans up after him and when I say anything he will ask me "why do you make such a big deal out of it. It is a big deal when I was working 12 hr shifts 5 days a week we live in a 2 story house 4 br, 2 bath huge kitchen and wooden floors through out... it's a lot to clean. I don't need to clean up after someone who always says... I'm 18 get off my back! MY house my rules but BF doesn't see this! And please don't say kick him out... I don't have authority to do so or his stinky, piggy butt would be on the curb post hast.

Answer Question

Asked by Metabea at 4:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Well time to start saving to get out. Right?

    Answer by louise2 at 7:59 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • I'd tell them both- my way or the highway.
    The kid is disrespectful, but the boyfriend allowing him to be that way is a second slap in the face!
    If I were you I'd stop cleaning. Everyone fend for themselves. Won't take your boyfriend too long to start making his kid pitch in when all the work is left to him.
    Son should also be paying rent. That's how things work in the real world. You're not in school, you don't live here for free, you get a job and pay bills.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 8:04 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • So he was at work last night usually doesn't get home till around 11 (Sat night works at the local pizza place) I heard his girl friend (been told she's not his girlfriend just a friend) I said so she's your fuck buddy? Well rules are no girlfriends spend the night. Get up this morning and her shoes and car are here. She spent the night. None of them are up yet. Since she's not his girlfriend just a girl friend (I'm not stupid she's his fuck buddy) should she be allowed to spend the night? He seems nonchalant about this subject. It's not ok for my son but his can have a girl over. I don't want to start a fight so early in the morning but this is NOT ok with me. 18 or not!

    Comment by Metabea (original poster) at 9:38 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.