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Divorced mom wants to start dating again....advice please

I feel that I am ready to date. I am open to all answers, even the ones that tell me to wait until my child is 18.

Thanks!

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mommasunflower

Asked by mommasunflower at 1:02 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i wouldnt wait! if you're ready then why wait? i havent been in your position but i remember you were asking before about help on your online dating profile, did you get any help? i would try something like chemistry.com or match.com or eharmony :]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:04 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Wow, if i were in your situation, I don't know that I could wait until my kids were 18 to start dating. If you do date someone, i feel you should be up front about telling him about your kids so that anything that turns serious, he's in for a 'package' deal. I've known divorced moms who think they can lead this double life, dating their boyfriend when kids with dad and not seeing boyfriend when her kid was with her. Once her relationship got serious, things got confusing. I personally think that approach is wrong. Just my two cents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I was always up front about my children and what type of relationship I was looking for. I knew I wanted to eventually get remarried so if a guy was looking for something casual he was not the one for me. I will be honest, after having been married for many years, being single and alone was hard. I used online dating sites because I just did not have the time to be out and about trying to meet people. It was a great way to weed out the losers! If they tried to talk about sex before I even met them, they were gone.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 1:14 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Good grief you don't have to wait till they are 18. Everybody needs love. Just be up front with them but do not take them over to meet the kids till you are sure the relationship is more serious. Be honest with your kids as well, let them know you are dating just make sure the BF is worthy of meeting your family.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 1:34 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I am just saying the 18 remark as my earlier question was commented on by someone on here with really unrealistic comments!
    mommasunflower

    Answer by mommasunflower at 1:38 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I was going to answer that I thought it would be nice if you could wait until your kid was 18, but I see the comment above... I still think it would be nice. But if that isn't an option, then I would be careful. I would not introduce my kid to the guy until we'd been dating for several months. Too many child molesting weirdos. I would also see if I could run a internet background check on (for $10 or so you can do this) for any dude I thought I might be serious about, just in case he had a criminal record. One my Moms boyfriends used to beat me when he was "watching" me for my Mom. One "friend" of the family who watched me with his wife while my Mom and her new husband were on their date night tried to have sex with me when I was nine. So pardon me if I am not all that enthusiastic about "boyfriends".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I understand your precauations, previous poster. I probably will refrain from dating. As, I am very shy and don't really have the social skills to have a relationship with a man! I guess my boat sailed & sunk on romance. ;-)
    mommasunflower

    Answer by mommasunflower at 1:38 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think you should start dating if you are ready. I just don't think it's necessary to expose your kids to every tom, dick, and harry you do go out with. This don't date till your kids are grown crap is stupid. You have a responsibility to protect your children, but to also teach them that life goes on and show them what a healthy relationship does look like if you happen to find someone worthy of marriage and step parenting. I just totally disagree with the kids hanging out with every Joe Blow after a mom has known him a week. I believe there's a right way to go about it.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 4:35 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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