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6 Bumps

Am I over thinking this?

My friend of 7 years was calling my frequently with questions because I'm just who my friends go to for medical advice especially for pregnancy stuff. He's been in the background a lot on calls which I didn't think much of because she's blind and they are newly married. We were talking on facebook and we had a misunderstanding and all of a sudden he can on and called me names, told me to never talk to her again, blocked me from her account, texted my phone telling me to lose her effing number.
My Mom called today because she got this friend some nori at Costco and her Husband had her cell phone and accused her of being me calling from a different number at first.

Mom of course says don't make a big deal out of it, he's just being protective(From someone who immediately apologised). But when your mad at a friend you've known for that long you close a conversation and ignore them a few days, maybe weeks if your really mad but blocked after saying they're sorry? And she always has her cell phone, always and even packs her charger with her most of the time. She just got married two months ago this whole thing just seems so fast.

Do I go talk to her parents or what?

Answer Question
 
lizziebreath

Asked by lizziebreath at 10:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,768 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • It may depend on what the misunderstanding was about, your relationship with her parents what is going on in her life. Ido not necessarily think that it is too fast but all things are relative.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • I'm confused..is that her husband listening in on her calls? He sounds controlling. She called you, not the other way around. She needs to realize that he's controlling. You could mention what happened to her parents, just in case they didn't know he was like that, and also so that they know he's controlling her communications and that they need to check up on her. Otherwise, I would just see what she does to set her own boundaries. She was not that smart to be talking in front of him. I really think people who do that are just stupid, even if it's someone else's business, it should remain private and she should've gone into a private room or her car to speak to you. She's blind so probably is scared and too dependent on him. You could anonymously report potential abuse for the disabled to the local social services or police station.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 10:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • I am sorry I can't make tails of who Mom is and who is the firend, I would say if your friend is the blind one, and she has been cut off from you, yes call her parents, or just drive over there.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 10:37 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • I can't quite figure out what is going on, but speaking as a blind person, I would say don't go talk to her parents unless you would involve the parents of any friend, sighted or otherwise. I mean, don't consider intervening in a way you wouldn't for a friend without a disability, or your blind friend might be insulted. I WOULD Want people I care about to have my back, but not more than they would for any other friend, because to assume she can't set her own boundaries on account of her blindness would be insulting, even if meant well.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:03 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • She's blind so probably is scared and too dependent on him. You could anonymously report potential abuse for the disabled to the local social services or police station.

    Please don't report potential abuse unless you are very sure it's going on. Especially with a baby on the way, your blind friend could end up with a big load of Social Services in her lap that she doesn't need, and once you get those people into your life, it can be very hard to free yourself from them. She may already be facing questions from professionals about how she will fare as a new mom--sad but true--and she won't need anything else on record for people to raise their eyebrows over.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • Well You know your friend better than we do. I frankly know (presently) only 2 blind people and have known perhaps a dozen well enough to say anything. But the ones I have known have been strong and sure of themselves, so I would not automatically assume he is controling or that she is scared. If you think so by all means talk to her parents in person.
    My DH listens in on my calls somtimes. I know he is there and do not care or I want him there to hear the conversation. Since it was pregnancy related she mayvry well have wanted to share what you had to say with him. but I do not know. As I aid I think if you think it through and "listen" inside your head your will know whether she needs help.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:10 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • What a dick. I'd be very concerned about your friend. VERY.
    I had a friend who married a guy like this. He stabbed her 57 times, killed her. In court, he threatened her family. It all started with the same shit. Controlling, isolating her from friends and family. YIKES this just scares me so much. Yes I would talk to her mom immediately.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:11 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

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