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My boyfriend....

I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now... The first year was rough. We didnt see each other much cause I worked so much. Plus, I just gotten out of a relationship. Although I had been over my sons father.

Well. I talked to his ex girlfriend of 10 years about 4 months ago. She told me that my boyfriend use to try and get back with her all the time while he was with me. When she told me this, my heart dropped. So what was his plan? To drop me and crush me instead of telling me the truth. I understand it was rough for is, but trying to get with your ex behind my back , and lead me on is totally unacceptable .

Well. Since I've talked to her, him and I have gotten a lot closer. We hang out every single day. We don't argue much. And we're just always there for each other. I forgive him for what he's done, but sometimes it's always I the back of my mind. How do I know he's not just with me , to distract him from wanting her? I love this man and the thought of that makes my tummy turn. I get it, 12 years of knowing her, 1 year of knowing me. He isn't going to instantly drop her for me. But he's with me, not her. I don't think they talk at all anymore, cause he's always with me. I just feel like, eventually, he might go back...

My question is....
My heart is on the line , isn't it?
And I've talked to him about this numerous times. He claims he's over her, and I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. Am I just being paranoid? I also questioned why he talked to her ! His answer was... " I been with this go Most of my life"

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Mar. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Typos ! Darn iPhone .

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • So, in short you don't trust that he really wants to be with you?

    Two red flags from your story about this man. First is that you don't seem to trust that he wants to be with you. Second is that he spent ten years dating someone. What's the story on that? Is he afraid of commitment?


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:24 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • But did you ask what their relationship was during their seperation/ break up? You say he was in a relationship for 10 years and evidently did not commit to their relationship. What are you expecting? Are you thinking marrieage and/ or kids? Just living together until it is time to move on? What?
    The answers to all those questions should help you to answer the question for yourself?
    I suggest not thinking with your heart or anantomy, but with your brain, first and foremonst.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2013

  • How long had then been broken up when you and he got together? After 10 years together, many people would find it hard to leave the familiarity of the past relationship behind, even if it's not a healthy one. If they had just broken up recently, I could see him being uncomfortable without that long term relationship, and trying to go back to it because it's what he knows. I would also say that if they had just broken up recently, it may have really been too soon for the two of you to get together.

    Regardless of what happened, the fact is that at this point, you don't trust him. Now you need to figure out if you don't trust him because he truly can't be trusted, or because you're insecure about something in the past. If it's the second, then work on getting over it or it will destroy your relationship. If it's the first, then why stay with him? (Might not hurt to remember exes aren't always the most reliable source, either.)

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:50 AM on Mar. 10, 2013

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