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2 Bumps

The Return of Stalker Mom! How to Deal?

I am pregnant with my second child and my step-mom is... over-excited again. With my first child, she really became overbearing. She would stop by everyday and call at least four times a day. (That's considering I answer her call. If I miss a call, she would hang up and call right back convinced something was wrong. She's even called my husband and had him convinced something was wrong. He came home early in a panic!) She would also stand BEHIND ME and try to massage my belly. And sure enough, as soon as she found out about baby number 2 this behavior is right back. I tolerated it the first time because my Dad thought it was "Cute" and that I was just being oversensitive. But I don't think I can deal with the stress this time.

Should I lock my doors and windows for the next 9 months? Has anyone else had to deal with something like this?

Answer Question
 
KimmyDaring

Asked by KimmyDaring at 5:36 PM on Mar. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Level 7 (164 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • TIme to set clear boundaries. It's not easy but you can say, "Hey, I'm used to this now so I don't need all the checking in and following up."
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:51 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • I agree. You need to set boundaries. Be specific about things like how often she can call (if it's not a REAL emergency, and whether or not it's OK to touch you.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 6:06 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • I think your DH needs to be with you when you talk to her. He needs to support you on this.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 6:17 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • That would drive me crazy!
    Like the others have said, talk to her about it. It's not cute at all!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 6:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • I agree with pps. Let her know it only adds to your stress
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 6:32 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • Its time for you to set boundaries and keep them. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • Set the boundaries. Tell Dad it's no longer cute, it's about to make you move away without leaving a forwarding address!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:08 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • You need help with determining boundaries and how to discuss them with her. I would highly suggest a group that is very experienced in overbearing in laws and family of origin issues.
    http://www.cafemom.com/group/32665/

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:42 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • You could try what I accidentally did when my friend's mother-in-law grabbed my belly with no warning during my pregnancy. It took me by surprise, and I spit chewe-up Arby's roast beef sandwich all over her.

    Seriously, I agree with the others. Set boundaries, hopefully with the help of your SO and even your dad, if possible. You have the right not to be harassed on the phone or touched without your consent. There's no law that says every woman's belly automatically becomes public property when there's a baby in it.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 8:48 PM on Mar. 10, 2013

  • Record a 15 second message that is slightly different (even if it's only to say "Hi, today's Thursday and I'm fine) every morning that says you're fine and that you just can't come to/answer the phone right now.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:17 AM on Mar. 11, 2013

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