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Is this disrespectful to me? i think so

my FIL asked my husband if he could take him out to dinner on his b-day. just him. he wanted my husband to drive to where he is about an hour away.

the 3 kids and i are already taking hubby out tonight.
my husband said no thanks to his dad.

my FIL is an asshole who always disregards me and excludes me

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Mar. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Yeah, it's a bit rude.

    Answer by 3libras at 3:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • Yes, but my advice is that rather than stew about this sort of thing, just write him off. You know that he doesn't like you and will do things like this, so realize that he's an annoyance in your life, and don't let him rile you.

    Answer by SWasson at 3:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • i'm not stewing. just thinking about it because a b-day for hubby ccame in the mail today from FIL. it simply reminded me of the asshole and his asshole-ish ways.

    had my husband accepted then I'd be stewing!!!! lol

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • If it were a one time thing, I'd just say your husband's dad might want some alone time with him, and his invitation might be a bit thoughtless but nothing more than that. Since you say it's part of a pattern, though, it's probably disrespectful.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:00 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • well its not rude to want to take his son to dinner for his b-day but to do it on the day he actually has plans with his family, yes it is.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:00 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • It was nice of FIL to want to spend time with his son on his birthday. The thought was not well planned though when his son has a family and all those little ones!

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:01 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • Ugh! We can pick our husbands... but unfortunetly we cant pick the in-laws... Never easy when they exclude you, but at least your hubby seems to have his priorities straight. I can understand him maybe wanting to spend one on one time w/ his son, but def. should've been willing to meet him somewhere in between, & should've either included you, or set it for another day. That sux! Sorry! :(

    Answer by HappyEndings at 4:05 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • I'm going to be the odd woman out here and say I don't think so. I think it may have been a bit thoughtless, but I don't think it was deliberate disrespect. I don't see anything wrong with him wanting to have dinner alone with his son - even when our kids are grown, we still can want quality time with them, just parent-child.

    Wanting it on his actual birthday was probably just a timing thing, that he thought it would be nice to treat his son to a birthday dinner and get that quality time. You mention you're taking him out tonight, so I assume that means today is his birthday. I imagine his dad probably assumed (obviously incorrectly) that you all might have celebrated over the weekend.

    Either way, your husband said no, so I wouldn't worry about it. Your husband obviously has his priorities in order, so don't worry about what his dad does.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • My FIL is and has always been an absolute jerk to me. He and my husband have a strained relationship as it is from the way my FIL treated him when he was younger.
    My husband tries really hard to please his dad for some reason and will usually see him even if I'm not included. Thankfully my husband picked today to grow some balls and consideration for me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

  • good- your husbands answer

    rude- your FIL

    but you married the man, not his father, and seems your husband has the father under control

    happy birthday anon's husband

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:13 PM on Mar. 11, 2013

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