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What do you do when your sister-in-law hates you?

I know my SIL is well-off, successful, has a beautiful family, blah blah blah. And maybe my husband & I have just not made the best choices in our marriage but we're getting back on track and we've got a fairly strong marriage. But I swear!! That tooth-pick hates me! When I walk in it's like she's just smelled something nasty!
She's such a snob to me, or she just ignore's me completely. I think she's really creative & I want to be able to be her friend or at least someone she finds tolerable. What should I do?


Asked by brighteyesbryar at 3:56 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (963 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think I'd "stroke her ego" a bit. You say she's creative...ask for her help in decorating a room, or a gift idea, or dinner/entertaining idea...whatever. Maybe, if she thinks she's as wonderful as she thinks she is, she'll "thaw out" a bit, and be a bit more receptive to you?!

    Watch her closely next time you're all does she treat her husband and kids, how do they treat her? Does she LOOK happy--especially when she opts not to eat the main course! LOL

    I think if you watch closely you may notice, that her life isn't really all "rainbows and butterflies' which may be why she is cold/mean to you--it simply makes her feel better!

    I HAD a SIL who was very superficial and MISERABLE! She didn't talk to me for 2 months because HER mother offered to babysit my unborn children in conversation one day, at a time when she wanted a child yet was having marital trouble...she was a self-centered brat! LMAO!


    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:22 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i would just continue to be nice to her but not over do it... if she doesnt come around that really sucks but at least you had tried...

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 3:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • treat her like she makes you feel you be the tooth pick lol it might just work

    Answer by sauna26 at 4:00 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I know I can never be skinnier than her... My mom once compared her to a starving child. But I'm ok with that. I just try to keep to myself when I'm around my SO's family, but I'd like to actually be a part of it. I just don't know how to break in.

    Answer by brighteyesbryar at 4:07 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • you know what your better then that you hold yourself up high when your around them make yourself apart of them and show them no matter what you will not break no matter how snotty and snobby the toothpick is ,YOU GO GIRL

    Answer by sauna26 at 4:21 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I just dealt with this, she couldn't stand anyone so I just tried to be nice and sociable. Its sad but I just got to the point with her where I was just hoping they would get a divorce. (she just left him a short while ago.) With the family just go and try to talk to all of them. You may not get much of a respose at first but it does get better. It has taken me a long time for Dh's family to treat me like I'm a part of it, but now that they have seen I'm not as bad as I could be things have gotten tons better


    Answer by cherbear3317 at 6:54 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • She's probably just as insecure as anyone else - just hiding it better.

    I think you may be putting some of your weight/money issues onto her - it's possible that the look on her face has nothing to do with you most of the time. And don't be jealous - no matter what it looks like on the outside, everyone has pain.

    If you want to be her friend, act like a friend - invite her out, buy her a magazine you think she'd like, comment on her shoes/hair, just be interested in her. Where did she grow up? Who does she think is going to win American Idol?

    Above all, be yourself. And be confident.

    Answer by Wimsey at 7:03 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies -- "Be yourself and be confident" says it all.

    Answer by ddmac314 at 8:02 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • well i have the other problem i hate my brother in law because the way he acts. He wants to hugs me all the time, says I really love you, and rubs my side if im near him and that really pisses me off and I don't know how to tell my sister that he does this and would cheat on her in a minuite. He also calls my cell phone 2-3 times a day and i don't anwser it...

    Answer by Missy_Dye at 8:16 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • These relationships are made over years. There will be no quick fix, if she ever needs kindenss be kind. If she ever needs a freind, be a friend. Be careful though, she may be the kind that will walk all over you if you let her. Just be cordial and not too eager, she will think you have motives to get her money or whatever she has that you don't. Also, how is you rel w/ your bro or whoever her SO is? If that person says bad things about you, she has no choice but to think them too. That person may be saying no telling what about you. Good Luck and proceed w/ caution.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:23 AM on Feb. 16, 2009