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what do you do when things havent changed?

We are still experiencing great difficulting in our marriage of almost a yr. It's hard for us to agree, we are unhappy every other day, if not every day. I am 4 months pregnant with our first child on the way. Its everything from me not dressing for him to him not trusting the church Im in. Its him feeling like my people dont accept me cause they havent been faithful in calling me by my name. He will probably find out that Im on cafemom and pretend he is me again.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • have you guys tried counseling? It sound like there are trust issues and maybe individual issues you both need to deal with.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 8:04 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • sounds like he has to have control over you at all times. be strong and consider counciling for yourself. Hopefully he steps up and contributs alot towards taking care of the baby. If not he will probably feel abandoned when the baby comes and your too tired to take care of him. Does he see the marriage as a team effort or are you the Mom figure to him?
    janno

    Answer by janno at 8:38 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like he is a very insecure person. Are you doing anything to build his self-esteem and to show him how much you love and appreciate him? One big mistake young couples make is in thinking that just because they get married, everything will just take off and fly on its own. That is far, far from the truth. Once you are married, you will have to study each other and you will discover weaknesses and strengths. You must build up the weaknesses and draw from the strengths. That's how you will grow your love for one another. This will be made even more difficult by having a child so soon. You will have to be very careful not to let your husband feel like he has been replaced in your affections by this child. The marriage relationship must remain top priority. Don't let him feel that you are taking him for granted. Dress yourself up and make yourself pretty for him every single day. Praise him for who he is.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:44 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like you two had some trust and personality issues BEFORE you got married that were never addressed, and now they are compounded greatly as you have a child on the way! I think you do need to sit down with a counselor who can mediate/facilitate healthy communication and dialog skills between both of you. If you don't address the REAL issues that are plaguing BOTH of you, I do not predict a "happily ever after" scenario.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:07 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • BUMP!
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 11:34 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

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