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Annoyed w/ work, & not sure what to do... Sorry it's long...

I started bartending at a private club just under a yr. ago. I got the job, because guy Whit who had that shift, is like 75-80 y/o, & was in the hospital, & they didn't think he'd be coming back to work. The shift was perfect, gave me a little time out of the house, some extra $, & a little self worth.

Whit showed up a few mos. later & was kinda rude, saying, "so you're the one who took my shift" & I just joked that they were big shoes to fill, but I was trying, & let it go. A wk. later my boss called & said that Whit wanted his shift back, & since he'd been there for yrs, that he felt he had to give him back his hrs. I was upset because Whit is retired, his kids are grown, & I understand he just wants something to do, but the extra money was helping me & dh out w/ the extra expenses of raising 4 kids.

There are 2 other bartenders. Marie who had Mon., Wed., & Fri. evenings. Joe had Tues, Thurs, & Sat evenings. Then Whit had Fri. & Sat. early. Marie had mentioned that she was tired of the bar, & wouldn't mind giving me her Wed., but never actually confirmed she was going to do it. Her dh is the head boss, & he's the one who told me, that I could start Wed.'s once Whit came back, & Marie seemed a bit p.o'd. Even though she was the one who brought it up in the 1st place.

So I now work 1 day a wk. which is fine, but we have a new bar manager who had mentioned starting a rotating shift, since Fri. & Sat. are our big tip nights. He said it wasn't fair that everyone doesn't get a chance at decent tip nights.. especially Fri. which is our biggest night. He hasn't done it yet, & who knows if he will, but Marie is thinking that he's just gonna give me one of Joe's days, since he's got 3. When in reality if he does make changes it will be to rotate our shifts wkly, & poss. give me an extra day, so we each have 2, which is gonna make both Marie & Joe mad. Not exactly looking forward to that.

The thing is, that I do the events in our hall, because no one else wants them, or they are working already. And I fill in when needed. But Joe & Marie never give me much notice, Marie always tells me that I'm on call, & she'll let me know if she needs me, & Joe just calls a few hrs ahead of time. I always offer to let them have my day, if they need to miss one of their days, so they don't lose out on $$. This past wk. I found out that my son has a concert on Wed. So I texted Marie & asked if she'd switch her Mon. for my Wed. It being St. Pat's this wknd. She & I will both get more hrs, since i"m working early, w/ Whit, & she's getting the later bigger tip shift, w/ Joe.

Marie texted back just saying "yeah I'll work it". So I asked again if she wanted to switch her Mon. w/ me, & she texted back, "I'll work it"....... So now she gets Mon., my Wed., her Fri., & Sat. evening. I understand I'm working Sat. too, but early shift, doesn't get much buisness, & I'll be splitting tips w/ Whit, & he's got a lot of 'buddies" that come up there, that will prob. slip him the tips, even though he's extremly slow, & forgettfull & I'll be doing most of the work, all of the stocking, & prep for the later shift.

I'm really frustrated & think that it's only fair that Marie should've been willing to switch so I'd at least get my normal hrs, & a few extra's. I depend on that money & she knows it. But I don't want to make waves w/ her, especially considering the changes that may be coming.... She's really nice, & we get along great usually, just when it comes to work, she's not the most fair person... grrr... really don't know what to do. I'm grateful for her taking my shift & helping me out, but....

Answer Question

Asked by HappyEndings at 12:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2013 in Money & Work

Level 18 (6,438 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I can see where you would be frustrated, especially since it seems as if everyone else knows and looks out for each other where you work, and you're the newcomer. But I Can also see where Marie wouldn't want to give up her normal shift instead of just taking on yours when you asked her to trade. You're probably not going to change the way things are at the club, so you'll have to decide if it bothers you enough to look for another job, or if you'd rather just accept the way it is.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:10 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • I understand your frustration. But I can also somewhat see their perspective: they've all been there a long time, and you're coming in and "taking" their hours. To you, Whit might just be working for something to do, but maybe he actually does need the money. They all know each other and you're still the newbie. You've yet to "prove yourself", so to speak. And sometimes, in a small work environment such as this one, you may never get on the "inside."

    It might be time to decide if you can deal with the situation as is. If you can, then do it. If not, then it's probably time to look elsewhere.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:35 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • Thanks for your comments. I'm truly trying to see their point of view. I've grown up w/ these people though. My parents are members & I've been coming up there since I was little, & my dh & I have been members for years. We go up there reg. & tip VERY well. As far as Whit goes, he's very well off. He admitted that it's just something to do. I know I'm new, and low man on the totum pole, & I'm not trying to step on toes. We are all friends. But Marie is very impatient w/ ppl. When she's in a bad mood or irritated everyone knows it. Joe is lazy, doesn't stock or clean, & sits & texts his whole shift. Whit is very slow, messes up the $ & forgets things. I work my butt off & go out of my way to help & fill in when needed. Which is why I'm frustrated, I guess. Dh is out of town all wk. & I've got 4 kids, so the shifts are perfect & I doubt I'll find another job like this. Guess I've just got to deal w/ it. Thanks again :)

    Comment by HappyEndings (original poster) at 2:06 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • Hi there, If you get rid of all of the "this is not fair" attitude, it will help. You came in as a part time newcomer and are comparing what you are doing to that of those who were there before.

    Yes, you need to just work the job you accepted and stop the petty committees in your head that is jumping in on this. You are on call and new.

    So what if Whit is well to do, the other girl is married to the manager... whatever. You are letting emotions and mislpaced frustration get you. Instead of taking thier inventory, stay in front of your own mirror.

    You got a decent job that works with your schedule and now you want more. No one asked you to go above and beyond your job. When we leave any job, they will forget what we did. Put your focus on your family and life. Just put in your hours, enjoy what you can don't offer to give up what you don't want to sacrifice.

    Answer by LeJane at 5:24 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • You sound like a "people pleaser" as well as a hard worker. It will bite you in the arse. People will use you and you will get nothing in return. It is just the way it is.
    Go logical and focus on gratitude. Do what you can and have a great work attitude and things will get better with time. One of my bosses once said I would rather have a medium skilled worker with a great attitude than a great worker with a bad attitude anyday.
    If it keeps looking like things will not change and you need something different, then look into opportunities in other directions. I have been through it so I truely get where you are coming from. I can also tell you life is what YOU make of it. No one else will do that for you. Hugs.

    Answer by LeJane at 5:36 PM on Mar. 12, 2013

  • Thanks. I appreciate your comment. =)

    Comment by HappyEndings (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Mar. 13, 2013

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