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What do you say?

How often do you buy your teens name-brand shoes, backpacks, clothing, etc? Do you just let them purchase it with their allowance? My teen is in sports with a lot of rich girls that have mostly if not all name brand items. How do you keep a balance? Do you think there is anything wrong with buying ALL name brand?  Even if you can afford it?! I mean the msg it sends to teens, rich & not so rich?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Mar. 12, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • That way, I'm not pressuring them to respond a certain way (or, not to have certain feelings in response!), or getting upset/feeling irritated if they don't "respond well" to my decision.
    The less I feel like THEIR honest feelings & preferences are somehow right/wrong, or are an indication that something wrong happened (such as, I wasn't fair or reasonable) and instead recognize that their reactions are an internal process of coming to terms with things, the more I can respond optimally to their reactions.
    That's giving them space to "have their feelings" honestly without them being wrong, or earning my disapproval/annoyance.

    I think negotiating these issues ideally is about values, respectful consideration & respectful communication. Just recognizing how specific wants reflect the child's strategy or solution for how to meet valid needs (a desire for inclusion/belonging, the wish for fun/recreation/enjoyment) can help a lot!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:51 AM on Mar. 13, 2013

  • I try and do a combo of coupons and sales. But I also have a limit, for say sneakers. Both my boys especially my youngest, like designer brand sneakers. when they were youngerI had a $85-90 limit. And if I have a coupon, I'd go up the amount on the coupon, usually $10 or $20. Anything more than that they paid the difference. It didn't happen alot, when it did each of them paid.
    I can't rationalize $125 for a pair of shoes, some are even $150 or $175!
    Now that they're older, they've each been the same shoe size for about 4 years, so my limit is more flexible now. Since they're not going to outgrow the shoes in 3 months.
    143myboys9496

    Answer by 143myboys9496 at 7:47 PM on Mar. 24, 2013

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